On December 23rd sometime in the the late 90’s I recall being stuck at Logan (the international airport in Boston) waiting for a transfer to get back home after a long business trip to Jacksonville, Florida. I had just barely made it in time for my transfer at the Atlanta airport but no luck in Boston….and no one had any answers to offer. I raced around from terminal to terminal looking for a flight home. No answers. It was so frustrating–more than usual because of the holidays. When I finally decided there was no benefit in running from terminal to terminal I chose one and got comfortable. I ensured I was on the standby list and waited. Now I was able to shift my attention to watching people…that immediately brought my level of anxiety down. And after watching people for a while I was able to spot a opportunity to get a seat where I could plug in my lap top and even charge my dead phone (no WiFi in the airport and my phone wasn’t a smart phone in those days as I recall–so no email access…hard to believe I know. Business travel changed when I got a Blackberry a year or two after this.) Needless to say, the degree to which I could work under these circumstances was minimal but just feeling more connected seemed to help.
The key point this week is: Don’t Leave ‘Em Hang’n.
I was not alone in my predicament AND people dealing with this pressure at that time of year are fascinating to watch. Our brains do not serve us well when we are scrambling. I learned a few things watching people though:
- Feelings of being out of control or at the mercy of the airlines caused some people to see anyone who worked there as an enemy which some times resulted in a very pronounced “us-versus-them” mindset. I watched while passengers would gang up on the attendant at the desk. Again likely they were typically reasonable people. The threat experienced by some, made those they saw as “in control”–the enemy.
- Others reacted with fear and would wail at the attendants and cry to everyone around them about their situation. They were total victims and seemed to relish being in the role. It may have been my imagination but it seemed they did get served most quickly.
- Some saw the experience as an adventure. Instead of being threatened by the loss of control they looked for ways to control what they could. This resulted in bonds being built and stories being shared between strangers. Some children grouped together and built forts with luggage to play in and around. (I will be expanding on this and sharing the end of my story in Episode #25 in three weeks.)
- And finally, I noticed others used their time to hide behind their books, or laptops or get on their phone and pace the floor.
Everyone found a way to “manage”, maybe react to, the threat associated with being at the mercy of others, or in this case the system.
If there is any chaos going on in your workplace I suspect you could do what I did that day and just watch the various reactions. These feelings of threats will invade the culture when there is job insecurity, people are not sure what is expected of them or messages are unclear. It can actually come whenever there is any sort of cognitive dissonance. You may be surprised now often you contribute to it. As a leader you may want to observe and reflect before taking action AND it is important to remember you are “driving the bus” and the results you produce are driven by how you choose to respond to what you are observing.
So while I hope you have listened to Episodes 20 and 21 or read the related Blog Posts 20 and 21, here is a quick review of what happens when your amygdala is activated:
- Your problem solving skills are weakened;
- You will suffer from fuzzy thinking and you may not see options clearly;
- You will make erroneous connections which could lead you to solve a problem that doesn’t really exist while not even seeing the real issue;
- You’ll react rather than take clear and thoughtful actions; and,
- You may even panic because problems seem bigger than they are.
While in last week’s episode I look at how we are primed to attend to and process social information because of our deep need to belong and contribute, this week the focus is on our brain’s need for stability or certainty.
The key point this week is: Don’t Leave ‘Em Hang’n.
Our brain is always looking for the pattern. We relax when we recognize where a conversation or process is going. In fact it is the reasons processes work so effectively.
We love to develop systems that help us predict what will happen if we do something. Even in sports you will hear that a team needs to develop or learn a system…a play is a pattern they practice until they can execute it with out requiring a lot of brain energy. Once they can execute a repeatable pattern they can use their active brain function to adapt the system or play to the response they get from their opponent.
We love patterns because with them we have an ability to predict the future. This is probably why we work so hard to avoid and even resist change. This is also why so many of us stay in a rut even when it doesn’t serve us any more. AND this is why when you create uncertainty in your direct reports they will “act out” and maybe even behave “out of character” as Ted did.
When I triggered Ted during the practical joke, in addition to singling him out and embarrassing him, I failed to support him in seeing what was unfolding. In fact I acted differently than he had come to expect so it was as though I shook the foundation he had come to rely upon. As I say in the podcast, he felt left adrift.
Our brain is always looking for the pattern. We relax when we recognize where a conversation or process is going.
To make matters worse, once his brain was starting to process what I was telling him I shifted things again and told it was all a joke. Now he had to come to terms with THE LIE! This started his brain blinking like the light on your phone….THREAT….THREAT…THREAT. No wonder he became angry, said things he would want to take back and stormed out of the room. When your employees behave badly have you ever looked at what triggered it? I know this was a really exaggerated example and yet I know it wouldn’t take this much to trigger most people.
In fact your Direct Reports may feel this when you:
- Change the rules of engagement suddenly.
- Ask them for their analysis on a report they just received.
- Schedule a Performance Appraisal for Monday after never talking with them about their performance all year.
- Change the layout of the office without engaging them in the process.
- Allow the organizational reporting structures to be unclear.
- Fail to clearly outline the real targets or goals for them.
In Episode 19 when I tell the story of building a team-centric approach with my direct reports…you may recall I commented on how I developed the system slowly over time. I also made sure to ease into the question-based, collaborative approach. I knew the new approach was starting to become a practice or ‘way of leading” WHEN I noticed the members of the team would meet prior to their meeting with me …they knew exactly what to expect from my meeting and they were coming together to coordinate and strategize. I knew it was really taking hold when they would get their teams together jointly to work on some of the shared ideas or when their team members started to collaborate in ways that served the clients needs.
You will recall last week I mentioned David Rock and The NeuroLeadership Institute’s model called SCARF ….this is the second element in the acronym is–CERTAINTY. Ted, from Episode 20, felt like I pulled the rug out from under him….his sense of certainty…something our brain craves… was upended.
It’s much like how you feel when you are sitting on the tarmac or in the terminal without any knowledge or information of what you can expect…your brain doesn’t know how to compute the unknown.
When you have a sense of what to expect…or at the very least a few clues, you can better navigate your day, your emotions and you can adjust and self-regulated. This is true for your employees as well.
Think about how you felt when you were promoted to the new leadership role, you got a boost from the recognition (STATUS) AND if you got a clear and precise job description and a clear set of goals and expectations (CERTAINTY) you were ready to take on the new responsibilities with passion and excitement. So consider how you can apply this understanding AND create a climate for your team, department or company where everyone feels they belong and adds value AND where they have a clear idea of what is expected of them so they come to work ready to make a meaningful contribution. DO THIS and watch the boost you give to your organization…what an impact you will have. You will be, and feel like, a LEADER.
I know….as a newly promoted leader you are very likely struggling to feel settled or certain about what is expected of you so it makes it really difficult to offer this to your own team…AND still that is exactly what you need to do to be successful in your new role. IT is the challenge that every newly promoted leader faces. Are you prepared for this challenge? What do you need to be prepared?
In Episode #22 of the ImpactBank: the Kickass Koach, I share 5 ideas on how to apply this learning as a leader:
- Be clear about your expectations and ask questions. Check in to ensure it was understood as you intended. AND realize there will be times when it isn’t and respond to that in an appropriate way. You may have heard me say or read one of my posts where I suggest that “the message is the message received!” When we remember that people will only act on what they understood we will recognize where and how we can influence a better result. Many of my clients have said…”well we agreed on this and then they didn’t something completely different…I can’t accept that!” Well the message they received is what they acted on so work on how you are delivering the message.
- Take the time to break the complex challenges and expectations into steps rather than overloading your team. Then invite them to break it down further and engage in developing the solutions.
- Respect the organizational structures. Many of my clients find themselves going around their management team to “help”. That is a sure way to trigger the amygdala of your senior team. Some of my clients tell me they resort to this because they are in a hurry or the problem they are fixing is so serious it requires their “personal attention”. Well if you are in a hurry please remember, the amount of time and energy to fix the mess you have just created because you triggered the amygala of others may be more costly than you realize. Not to mention that your “personal attention” may bring more negative influence in the future as a result of this one inconsiderate response. Stepping over people is tricky territory and you must have a strategy to ensure you do not under mine your team OR send the message to their teams that you do not trust them.
- Discuss contingency plans with the team when appropriate. This will both build trust that you are thinking ahead and encourage them to do the same. This is such a great opportunity to develop improved thinking skills on the entire team which will serve you and the organization very well over time.
- Be VERY thoughtful about how meetings are designed and managed. (We will cover this very specifically in a series in Spring 2016.)
Are you prepared for the challenge of leadership? What do you need to be prepared?
Some of the benefits you will experience:
- Members of your team will be more prepared for conversations and meetings so time will be better spent and you will make a difference in your role more quickly and effectively.
- Members of your team will be able to articulate their thoughts, ideas and feedback more clearly and appropriately which will increase the creativity, innovation and quality of implementation for all projects and responsibilities.
- Efficiency and energy will naturally increase. Clarity is a key to channeling energy which will result in greater efficiency.
In closing, when your direct reports feel they know what is expected of them and are confident they can trust that what you say and do match, you will find they speak more freely and offer you more useful insights. As a result, you’ll have a clearer idea of what is actually happening in your organization. So many leaders are genuinely surprised by the results of their 360 or when there is unethical behavior within their team AND yet when your team feels secure with you, you will find you will be supported by them.
NEXT TIME: the 4th in the series on Leadership on the Brain…the threat associated with that controling boss or that overly structured work environment.
Make it a kickass day! Start by observing how people respond or react to you.