What’s your choice? Choosing to learn today or to get caught in the web of blame and judgment?
If you haven’t listened to today’s podcast where I explore how to move out of judger and into learner mode (Episode #10) I invite you to do that now.
It may help to remember we move back and forth between the two modes frequently. We also tend to get stuck in judger mode more in some areas of our life than in others. It could be helpful to examine those where you rarely get stuck in judger—you may discover a few tips and ideas of your own.
In the podcast I talk about how it feels to be in Judger Mode. When you are stuck there for any length of time, you’ll notice an impatience even with the little things. You’ll develop a short temper and maybe even feel unreasonably angry. Sometimes you hear yourself being defensive, finding reasons not to solve a problem, and instead remaining stubborn and inflexible with your team or colleagues. If that isn’t enough, you’ll also find this is rich ground for your inner critic to take hold; this will leave you feeling inadequate and even unworthy. Yikes—this is not a pretty picture. If you are here—I know you want out AND FAST.
When you choose Learner Mode you will be curious and interested in the perspectives of others. This will open you up to the point of seeing new options everywhere you look—they were always there AND now you can see them. You will be more open to them partly because you will recognize your failure to see these options and others in the past was simply part of the learning. You will find in Learner Mode that your influence expands exponentially and people find you inspiring AND want to follow your lead.
So I suspect you are interested in making this happen and are wondering what you might do.
Well first–take stock. Take a close look at where you are stuck in Judger Mode and reflect on how you got there and what’s keeping you there. Be curious about it. There is no benefit to be had in blaming yourself—that’s likely how you got stuck here in the first place. This is when you may want to go back to my earlier suggestion and look at the part of your life where you easily slip into Learner Mode. Some people find they go there easily as a parent and rarely as a leader at work.
Secondly, get curious about your Choices. Where do you want to be? What’s another perspective? And another? Try on a few different and varied perspectives. Others can really help you with this. It is important to approach them with curiosity, not judgment or defensiveness.
Thirdly, commit to and structure continued reflection time. Reflecting on options and choices AND seeking a thinking/processing partner to help with this can make a huge difference. This is where a certified and experienced leadership or business coach comes in.
My clients find that when they review the outcomes they are producing and we examine them together they are able to see things in a new way. I hold the mirror up for them and using a structured process I help them navigate and embrace the learner mode and a growth mindset.
While the conversations we have flow as the client requires, a general process we may use includes:
- Exploring experiences and challenges for new insights—developing awareness
- Looking at these insights from a variety of perspectives—testing them I suppose
- Dig into, around and under them to discover a variety of options
- Making the tough choices and decisions
- We then co-create an action plan to move forward productively and mindfully.
- Of course, we circle back to learn from the choices and pivot the approach as needed. Taking stock is a constant part of the cycle.
Join my mailing list. I will resend the worksheet that went out this week and later in September there will be a second worksheet related to mindset. Each month members on my mailing list will receive a resource related to my podcast.
Next Week: the closing episode on Mindset: The Leader’s Dilemma. Until then….
Make it a Kickass Day–make your life better—have the life you’ve always wanted.