“Let us not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness.” – James Thurber
The 2020 theme of identity continues with my exploration of how we choose to look around at the world and our place in it.
In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped November 16th, I share a story of a client who came to me, wanting to work on his executive presence..
For the newsletter, I examine a moment when an experience reminded me that when I look around in awareness, even my anger can fuel my learning and thereby offer me options on how to still accomplish my task without letting the unknowns or the ridiculousness of our world define my day or the current challenges determine my attitude.
Finally, in this post I explore how discovering who we are helps us like our self and how our life and performance is markedly improved when we enjoy who we are.
Look Around in Awareness of What is
We must know clearly what is, in reality, in preparation for figuring out where we want it to be.
This is precisely what makes awareness of what is, so important. Moreover, it helps us get a good vantage point on what is possible, if we are open to seeing it. Every New Years Day I engage in a creative exercise. I learned it early in my career. After repeatedly delivering it for leadership teams, it became my annual ritual. It was more powerful than setting resolutions.
The exercise calls for crayons to get the child-like creativity going but after the long term thinking component it immediately shifts the thinking back to clearly defining “what is”. Current State may seem easily defined but it is far from. I have concluded that awareness of “what actually is” is the product deep presence.
There is a term for executive presence and it typically references a confident air or “je ne sais quoi”. I should mention I am working on learning French in 2021 so I may sprinkle in French expressions periodically as I embed them in my vocabulary. The “je ne sais quoi” refers to a quality that is difficult to adequately describe or easily name. That is the perfect way to describe presence. We know it when we see it!
Just the same, presence is best way to access a deep awareness of what really is the reality of any moment or point in time.
Look Around in Awareness of Your Place
As part of my resilience workshop, I invite participants to examine both footing and framing. I will start by exploring Framing. It is important to appreciate the relationship between the two.
Framing, a term coined by Gregory Batson, describes how we mean what we say or do and how we figure out how others mean and say what they do. In other words, it is the lens through which we look. It is developed through our lifetime. Additionally, it is coloured by our experiences and how we interpret them. For example, I look at the world as a skeptic and critic. I challenge almost everything as my standard mode of exploration. Knowing this about myself helps me recognize how the place from which I look at things will impact my relationships and the reaction I gather in response. This frame will get me in trouble in some footing and serve me extremely well in others. My awareness of this helps me take better stock of every situation.
Footing is a term use by sociologist Erving Goffman, that is used to refer to a frame that describes the relationship between speakers of parties. In other words, the position from which I am looking. To expand my earlier example, as a critic I will be experienced very differently depending on the footing. If I am the boss critiquing the work of a direct report my footing makes for a particular perspective for both me and the other. If I am a dear friend, spouse or colleague – each a very different footing – a critical footing will be received differently.
Being aware of both our frame and footing when approach an challenge, task or opportunity is powerful. If offers a unique set of insights that make for better decisions.
Look Around in Awareness of Your Future Self
While we all seek to be authentically our self, we have the ability to make choices on who that future self may be.
In 2021 I am approaching the theme of resilience. I see the skill or set of skills that relate to resilience as an opportunity to reframe our way of being to maximize the new footing into which we are stepping post-pandemic.
As part of my annual Near Year’s ritual once we have opened up the creative energy and accurately documented where we are, we are ready to explore who we need to be to get from where we are to where we want to be. As I am preparing for this ritual a dear friend asked me if there was a creature that symbolized the characteristics of this person for me. I took a few deep breathes and ultimately an image of a beaver came to mind. He laughed and asked what that was about. I realized it was an industriousness that I respect. I want to be industrious and willing to do the forward thinking work to build what I see as valuable.
Who we see ourselves being to get to where we want to be is an essential ingredient. Additionally, there is a significant benefit in blending a clear current state with an inspiring future state. We will all do well to dig in and do this work. By the way, after landing on the beaver I started thinking about the little ant. Ants, in community, achieve great things on a small scale. We may all benefit from studying the work of the beaver and the intricacies of the ant hill as we consider how to build back better.
Life is one big Experiment
An experimental, iterative, approach to life is a recognition of the power and influence of progress. The most important experiment we can do is the one that helps us understand the truth about our presence. Perhaps it is the purpose of our life. In doing so we shift how we see the world, our self and others.
Continuous learning and fresh insights are the goal of the experimental approach. What will the evidence teach us? Moreover, this approach is generative in addition to being iterative. With an experimental collaborative approach, we may find progress is faster while we go further. In collaboration we can crack this, but only together with a willingness to learn and honour the data and the stories, will we arrive where we seek to go.
We may be capable of more closely monitoring and learning from our choices and decisions and build capacity to adjust our actions to meet the current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold. Furthermore, there’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure we’re able to influence results more deeply. This mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only meaningful results. Furthermore, it’s essential we learn to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment.
Walk with me.
Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be. Where may client wants to go is my paramount focus. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well-developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully
Be part of the journey in 2020.
Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:
- My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
- My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
- Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.
Being Present is HOW we Bank (Y)Our Influence (BYI)
The System
The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.
The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021). My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.
Holding space to support my clients in:
- Developing meaningful insights
- Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
- Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
- Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights
An organic experience
The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.
Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be
In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.
Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?
If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.
Willing to do the work to find more meaning?
With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me… My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.
Walk with Me!
- BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
- SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.
In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.
- Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.