What are your reflections revealing? Are you taking enough time to reflect? Additionally, are you reviewing the game tape? In the final assessment, are you fully examining your moves and your misses?
Interested in more of the benefits that reflection offers? Check out my newsletter from earlier this week or the story I told on my IG feed on Wednesday (Nov. 7).
The hint for the related podcast episode this week is referring to the mirror and the lessons it offers. Do you spend a lot of time looking in the mirror? I’m struck by how often people, when stepping into the elevator in my building, are immediately “checking out” their reflection. Squeezing in their cheeks, mussing with their hair, or turning to the side to see how they appear from another angle. Generally speaking, I try to suppress my smile, considering how unaware they seem to be of my watchful eyes. Then turning, I catch their eyes and smile. Greeting them directly usually wins me a return smile, before they turn to take another look at themselves. After this dance, they typically get immersed in their phone.
Mirror Mirror
Like most people, you’re probably examining your outward appearance when getting a chance. Do you spend as much time checking out your inner reflection? You know, examining your beliefs, thinking patterns, explanatory approach, resilience, connecting effectively with others, to just name a few. Your inner self is JUST AS important to your success. On balance, it requires deeper reflection and care. Often it really requires self-compassion, in the same way our personal judgment of our physical reflection does. What if the person who gives at least equal value to both, is the one who is MOST comfortable in their own skin? Do you want to be described by others as comfortable in your own skin?
To be comfortable in your own skin, you must build a daily practice of reflection.
I’m suggesting that if you’re, as most of my clients are, seeking to expand your impact and influence in the workplace, the community and the world, you need to focus more on the reflection you’re creating from the inside out. I’m an image consultant of sorts, I suppose! My focus, though, is in how you see yourself on the inside. AND, how it determines the way others experience you. This is a key consideration in the journey to get to where you really want to be.
Reading the Play
The ability to reflect is one of the first elements in building a growth plan. Why does it belong early in the process? This is, in part, the mechanism to assess what’s needed. If you’re starting with action, you may be putting your energy into fixing an erroneous element. Perhaps one that doesn’t ultimately move the needle on the perceived problem or opportunity. What do I mean by “Reading the Play”? I’m playing off the activity that athletes use to assess where they are seeing opportunity for improving. They may want to be more prepared in the moment. Wanting to read the play quickly to adjust and succeed, when it matters most. Realizing the data and quantifying the experience to do that effectively, points to the benefit of examining the tapes to see what’s working and what hasn’t worked in the past. In fact, I’m comfortable arguing that it’s the importance of this “unpacking” process that’s made the profession of coaching so pervasive and valuable.
Go to the Tape
Building the skill and practicing the art of observing yourself in conversation is significantly helpful. More over, separating yourself from the engagement to access a fresh perspective may help you be more responsive and effective. Ultimately, you’re performance will move to a much higher level. This doesn’t happen easily. It requires you to first take time to reflect on past situations with careful, detective-like precision. I’m not advocating for paralysis-analysis. What about taking an experimental approach? Isn’t that the heart of the data-driven world in which you are operating?
In my current system, I call “Banking Impact & Influence”, I apply a 4 stage approach.
- Concept (perhaps the antecedent, problem or idea).
- Perspective (which is generated through reflection, inquiry and/or analysis).
- Practice (action with observation, engagement and data gathering).
- Assessment (putting the results to the test to figure out the learning BEFORE returning to identify the next concept that emerges).
In addition to these four bases, my system focuses on generating 3 benefits for you: increased resilience; more powerful presence; and, the capacity to connect to enhance belonging.
Call the Game
A practice of reflection allows you to assess and act on observations more quickly and accurately.
When you’re identifying what you want (what winning the game looks like, feels like or means), action isn’t the first step. Even in a world where Facebook at one point wowed us with their “Move Fast and Break Things” mantra, most influential leaders of substance would suggest that there is middle ground between being paralyzed by analysis and acting like a wreaking ball.
As you’re identifying the need for or desire for action, stepping back to gain perspective is a bit like reviewing the game tape. Would you respect an athlete in today’s game for “flying by the seat of their pants”, reacting to whatever happens around them OR do you like seeing how the physical and mental and strategic elements of the game come together? In a career of substance, if you want to move toward an outcome that matters to you, checking, if not studying the game tape always adds value. I argue that being prepared by game time for a vast number of eventualities opens up possibilities. By and large, this experimental approach throughout the game frees you up while enhancing your knowledge and intensifying your clarity. To call a game, you need perspective and to play the game, you benefit from perspective and informed instinct.
Applying Reflection to Lead
Whether serving in a formal position of leadership, seeking to influence change in your workplace or community, or holding up a mirror to the need for change, your ability to reflect is key to being effective. You may need to hold a mirror up to your boss, to the board or other stake holders where you have influence. There may be moments you need to hold a mirror up to your peers, direct reports and customers. I’d argue that to hold up this mirror with credibility you must both look in your own frequently while inviting others to hold one up for you as well, even when it stings.
Have you ever had a 360 assessment completed? It’s a bitch to have that mirror held up! EVERY SINGLE one of my clients who’s had one, contacts me the day it arrives for a JIT conversation. (JIT = “just in time” – which is included in all my 1:1 coaching contracts). One of my current clients, who I’ve worked with for years, is an executive with an agency that has never used a 360 process. Earlier this year she completed a graduate leadership program that incorporated a 360 process. I learned the results were about to come in just as I was heading out on a trip. I suggested we arrange a JIT conversation. She laughed indicating she’d be fine. As I was getting on the plane at Pearson though, I received a text saying, “Can we chat…I need to blow off some steam in a safe conversation.” We arranged to chat from the airport on the other end of my trip. To her credit, she processed it within 45 minutes breaking down the messages into a few meaningful buckets and from there, was able to find her equilibrium. Still today she reflects on that experience and the power and impact of that painful mirror.
How We Can Walk together…
Applying rigour to your reflection practice has a significant impact on your ability to influence change in yourself and others. Listening to my signature story – available on the player below, HERE, OR you can click over on my website BIG WHY Story on the services pages – you’ll hear me struggle to reflect diligently in the early part of my career. I wanted to be the person who learned from every experience however, I realized in time the trick was to develop a progressive learning style. This meant being one who was capable of moving from recognizing, as a Monday morning quarter-back (observing through game tape), to practicing by acting on what I learned (experimenting on the field) to eventually being skilled enough to adjust in the moment (calling a play from the huddle or even from the line) as I saw opportunities or problems unfolding.
Wanting to expand your influence and think you may benefit from a thinking partner as you expand your scope? Together, we’ll find a unpack the barriers and find a path that takes you where you want to be.
Want to find a clear path to success on your terms? We’ll craft a personalize strategy that puts you on a progressive journey.
Don’t feel valued for your unique perspective at work? A great path is there for you, we’ll discover the sign posts together.
Feel like you could make more of an impact at work if you broadened your scope but not sure how to make that happen? We’ll unpack the limits and the possibilities and craft your way forward.
Want to learn to #unpack4impact?
Once you have the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my system, you’ll begin to see the impact in your career and you’ll find what matters most to you.
My goal is to make my system accessible and affordable. There are many ways you can engage with me. CLICK below on at least one to LEARN more or to BOOK time with me:
Ready to walk with you.
- on my website in the services section
- and register by checking out the Eventbrite page
- by registering for an ASK ROX RoundTable… there are more dates added all the time – it’s FREE OF CHARGE.
- Contact me with questions OR BOOKa complimentary exploratory conversation.
- Learn More on my services page.
- Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization.