Demands  minus resources determines stress.

Feeling stressed or overwhelmed?  The answer to that isn’t complicated. Reduce debilitating effects of stress using a basic formula as a guide. I describe the formula in the podcast episode, to get people started. BONUS – those who subscribe to my newsletter get an interactive exercise to walk through the formula with me.

When we let the demands in our life overwhelm the resources we’ve accumulated, learn to say NO or add some resources.

To lessen the impacts of stress, we either reduce the demands in our life or expand our resources.

The 2020 theme of identity continues with this week’s focused exploration. Often identity is used as a reason to not adapt. However, and identity that embeds the capacity to adapt is the healthiest.

In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped July 27th I remind my listeners that my gift to subscribers to my newsletter is an interactive exercise to help people re-imagine how to navigate stress.

For the newsletter, I acknowledge that no matter what we do individually to reduce the impact of stress, there is something known as systemic stress that requires a broader shift in both policy and norms. This pandemic has shown us that. using my simple tool, we can start by doing our own work so we can be part of the community wide solution as well.

Finally, in this post I dig a bit deeper into feelings of overwhelm and what my clients are learning during this pandemic that is helping them turn a corner in how they view demands in their life and career.

Stress Defined and Transformed

We feel stress when more is expected than we can deliver.

Essentially, stress is an indication that life is out of balance. Balance the demands with adequate resources and stress disappears. It sounds simple because it is. Humans just don’t do “simple” very well. Not for long anyway! Furthermore, once we have balance, we often decide to add more demands, tipping the scale again.

Stress is healthy. It just depends on the extent and source. Stress, heightened energy, when learning something new, is generally exciting. Especially,when we love the activity. I remember when learning to play the piano. Whenever I started a new piece, practice was exhausting. I avoided it. When my proficiency grew, practice was fun. Moreover everything changed when I nailed the fingering and timing.  I just had to fine-tune the flow of the presentation of the music the stress, which was fun. I was invigorated.

We all need stimulation. When the pressure of demands is coupled with the capacity to perform, we no longer feel overwhelmed. We’re delighted to show the world our skills. Recently watching hockey, baseball, and basketball return, I’ve been reminded of the special skills of our prime athletes. Announcers mention the unique stresses of the moment. We could marvel at the fact they’ve been able to perform at high levels regardless of this. I periodically wonder what it must feel like to stare down a 95 m/p/r fast ball or take a check in the corner or leap to take the shot from the perimeter to beat the shot-clock, I think of challenges I’ve faced and overcome.

Stress is neither good nor bad. Pressure, when met with the confidence of skill and developed capacity, is invigorating. We just need to get it to that sweet spot of balance.

Stress: Demands Revisited

Stress: Resources Revised

Recently a client described one of his wife’s resources as a crutch. It prompted a fascinating conversation. Apparently, she enjoyed late night conversations with friends to reduce stress. He, on the other hand, thought it was an excuse to ignore him. Moreover, he admitted hated over-hearing the laughter. He felt left out. His perspective shifted upon realizing this.

Another client admitted she was drinking more wine in the evenings during COVID-19 lock-down. She concluded it was a coping mechanism. One day she mentioned it was creating sleep issues. It was an unhealthy and unhelpful resource.

One client told me she was struggling to get her team to focus. We discovered there was a lack of direct engagement on their individual needs. She incorporated a 30-minute on-line check-in with each member of the team. It helped the team’s over all performance.

An executive client was annoyed by the lack of response to her request for fresh ideas to leverage the pandemic learning. We discovered the organization was lacking engagement because of fear of what lay ahead. The organization had laid off about a quarter of the team, leaving others feeling vulnerable. She decided to be more transparent. It started her on the practice of making the implicit more explicit. Ultimately this approach has become a constant in my practice during the campaign.

Finally, a client shared a story recently about needing to balance her own health risks with the needs of others: her elderly mother and anxieties expressed by her team. She felt powerless. As we explored the demands, I could see her challenge. When we reviewed her resources, it was apparent she needed help with caring for her mother’s health. Once she requested help from her siblings the demands were shared. Sometimes all we must do is ask.

Life is one big Experiment

We can experiment with our energy. We can learn what overwhelms the demand side and what resources serve us best.  A person with an experimental, curious or growth mindset is destined to challenge everything.

Continuous learning and fresh insights are the goal of the experimental approach. What will the evidence teach us? Moreover, this approach is generative in addition to being iterative. With an experimental collaborative approach, we may find progress is faster and we go further.  In collaboration we can crack this, but only together with a willingness to learn and honour the data and the stories will we arrive where we seek to go.

We may be capable of more closely monitoring and learning from our choices and decisions and build capacity to adjust our actions to meet the current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold. There’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure we’re able to influence results more deeply. This mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only meaningful results. Furthermore, it’s essential we learn to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment.

Walk with me.

Walk with me to build the skills to adapt when needed. Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be.  Where may client wants to go is my paramount focus. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well-developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully

Be part of the journey in 2020.

Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:

1. My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
2. My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
3. Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.

Balance Demands & Resources with Bank Your Impact (BYI)

The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.

Walk with Me!