If you haven’t listened to today’s podcast where I begin the new series on powerful conversations (Episode #12), I invite you to use this link to listen.
Leading from the heart early in my career seemed like a strange concept. I cared about people and I cared about doing a great job, making a difference, meeting my obligations and exceeding expectations. I just didn’t see how any of this was connected to my heart. I was strictly driven by thinking—rational thought…well that is what I believed!!
Having since read books like Dr. Matt Lieberman’s book “SOCIAL: Why Our Brains are Wired to Connect” and Daniel Kahneman’s book “Thinking Fast and Slow” and engaging in workshops and learning about how our brain functions I realize how mistaken I really was. We are ALL driven more by emotion than we realize AND much more than we believe.
Conversations have always been a fascination for me and a big part of my career. I love exploring how to use them in performance management processes, learning experiences and in coaching. When I was completing the series on Mindset, I decided the next series for my podcast would be on diversity since that was a central theme for 10 years of my career and then a client asked me to help her work on her preparation for a difficult conversation she needed to have with her boss. As we worked on that and co-created her approach I was reminded how pivotal conversation is to the success of a leader. We almost take it for granted—or maybe it’s just me.
Cultivating and continually improving your skills for powerful and transformative conversation is one of the most important competencies you can develop as a leader. Continuing to hone this skill throughout your career and life is central to your ability to influence the experiences, maybe even the mindsets of the people you support at work. AND when you do this you impact the climate and ultimately the culture or your team, department and organization. It happens one conversation at a time. And like most critical elements of a business–and culture belongs on this list–once they are developed and nurtured they serve you well. AND on the flip side, when you’ve screwed them up, they are SLOW to turn around. It will require patience and attention—one conversation at a time—to first influence the climate and in time, the culture.
You want an innovative, solution focused team, department or business where everyone is pulling in the same direction in this chaotic world? IT ALL STARTS with the quality of the conversations. AS a leader it is your responsibility to set the tone.
In the 12th Episode of my podcast I found myself telling a story about a time when I learned this lesson. I only wish I had been able to build on that learning as fully as I know I could have. I know how it felt to lead from the heart—as I reflected and told this story, the feelings all flooded back. I felt fulfilled and purpose driven in those days and months. While I have felt that way since, I know, had I been more aware of who and how I was being and the direct relationship it was having on the team, our relationships and outcomes, I would have been able to sustain that heart-focused approach—making every conversation matter and every person feel like they mattered.
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Next Week: the second in the series on Conversation–a Recipe for Success
Have kickass conversations this week so you can make your life and the lives of others better—AND build the life you have always wanted.