A Case for Balance
Have you ever been told you overwhelmed people? Your energy or focus on a task or goal ‘put people off”? Maybe you were thinking about the employees or customers who would ultimately be affected if you didn’t deliver.
The most dramatic moment in my career when I leaned heavily into my boldness was in support of a front-line employee who had been mistreated. Amanda, not her real name, reported to a supervisor within my department. The supervisor’s manager came to me at the end of the day to report that Amanda had been propositioned inappropriately during an interview for a opportunity within another department. I was outraged as you may imagine. The manager had worked with me for a few years at this point and I trusted the supervisor and me completely. I was informed Amanda didn’t want to bring a complaint to HR. After some encouragement from her supervisor she wrote up her version of the experience for me and I decided to bring a complaint against the hiring manager myself. The hiring manager (Bryan – not his real name) had, when the HR representative in the interview stepped out for a few minutes, asked Amanda to “open your blouse and let me have a peek and I will give you a few extra points in the hiring process.”
With Amanda’s recounting of the experience in hand I personally went to the on-site HR Director the next morning. Basically, she dismissed it as a he-said, she-said but promised she would keep an ear out to whether Bryan had any further complaints of this nature. I boldly expressed my displeasure with how she was planning to proceed. Just the right amount of boldness, given the circumstances; I was tenacious, straightforward, passionate and courageous in making my points. The manager wasn’t willing to be brave and confront the situation.
A few days passed and I realized she was not reconsidering. I had to make a decision whether to go over her head to the Regional VP of HR, who happened to be a good friend of mine, or to the Employee Relations Manager who reported to her AND with whom I had worked for 5 years. I chose to meet with the Employee Relations Manager – it seemed bold enough to accomplish what was needed without being reckless or being a bully. Rachel (not her real name) recognized the impact of the situation immediately and together we explored options. A few days later Rachel met with Bryan and without getting into the approach he used he easily admitted what he had done and claimed it had all been a joke and that he hadn’t meant to offend Amanda. We had all we needed now – no more “he-said, she-said”. Except that isn’t how the HR Manager saw it. That’s when my boldness went into over-drive.
I suspect the HR Director felt threatened by my approach and I will admit as I look back now, it wasn’t very professional of me to go around her to one of her direct reports to leverage the relationship. I am not an advocate for “the end justifies the means” AND STILL. I actually hadn’t expected the confession either but how could we just drop it.
I can see how my extreme boldness bordered on and may have even crossed over into antagonistic and even reckless behaviour. I wanted justice for Amanda and I was willing to destroy my relationship with the HR Director in the process. I look at this situation years later and realize how I would have been so much more effective as an advocate and leader had I found balance in the boldness – remaining tenacious and brave.
Mastering Leadership Podcast Series
If you haven’t listened to Part 1 in this series Episode 28 I recommend you do that. In this episode I introduce the foundational story and the characters I reference in every episode – Marley, Pete, Alan and Cynthia. The are actual people but these are not their real names. In the related Blog Post I describe them in more detail and I offer a 2-part assignment to help you get more out of the series.
In Episodes 29 and 30 we discuss 4 of the character traits that influence your leadership style – to get the most out of this series listen to those when you get a chance.
A couple of helpful points to remember:
- You do not fit neatly into one style. I hope my reflections in the podcasts and accompany posts make this abundantly clear. In this post I share how I moved between inspiration and focus in the way I designed and conducted interviews–while the transformation didn’t happen immediately, it is an example of how we are not stuck in one trait as a FIXED strength. In my earlier examples I also make the case that change for change sake is not the answer to improving performance. Both my over-use of Inspiration and Focus, while years apart, failed to serve me or anyone else well.
- Don’t fall into the trap of a label. Frequently when talking with clients I hear complaints about how many of the typologies or assessments seem to attach labels. I am intentionally not focusing on labels in this series but rather on behaviours, patterns, tendencies and preferences. Yes tilt has language to help us understand these and I will share more about those in time. Labels are helpful and even necessary for understanding, however when we trap ourselves in labels we lose sight of our free will to grow and shift as wanted and needed. REMEMBER THIS.
The Learning
My big aha this week was about the relationships between boldness and consideration. I value and appreciate my boldness. I know when I remain in balance with it I make a significant difference. In the case of Amanda, for instance, she expressed to me how she felt validated and cared about because I was willing to “go to bat” for her. I believe that when I am bold in service to others it is the deepest way I can be considerate and respectful of the needs of others AND YET it is not generally how most of the rest of the world describes behaviour that reflects consideration. What to do about that?
A few things you can do to join me in learning more about yourself and your influence:
- Reflect on your own behaviors and follow along today to see where you lean and whether it is in service of your ultimately goals and supports the kind of influence you desire.
- Observe the impact others have. When you see someone who resembles they way I described Cynthia and Alan or Marley and Pete pay attention and consider the impact and kind of influence they have as a result. Some times it’s easier to first learn from observing what works and doesn’t in the performance of others.
- Monitor yourself. While you may need to do some Monday morning quarterbacking initially, in time, you will be able to notice your impact as it happens AND eventually you may even be in a position to anticipate the play and adjust on the fly. Be patient with yourself because you can’t become the Peyton Manning or Wayne Gretzky of leadership over night.
- Identify an area of focus and develop yourself in this character strength. You will be delighted to see how with focus on one trait you will improve your balance in ALL traits.
To recap:
Consideration – in balance, consideration is sensitivity & compassion for others and even empathy and possibly a willingness to forgive. You will recall from the podcast – Episode 32 – in Pete it was illustrated by how he considered the full impact of a plan of action while with Marley the emphasis was on how anything would make people feel. Regardless, both preferred to be more thoughtful in their approach
Boldness – in balance, boldness is experienced as tenacity and passion even courage and the willingness to take risks or be adventurous. You’ll recall in podcast – Episode 32 – Cynthia chose to bravely jump into the possibilities that lay ahead while Alan demonstrated boldness in his desire to move decisively and directly through his well-defined steps.
So what if there is no balance. What if any of our characters are over or under using these traits? Listen to the episode for a description of what this would look like and consider whether you ever move into unbalance. How might it impact your influence as a leader?
NEXT WEEK…. We’ll be digging into the character strengths of Confidence and Trust. Is there such as thing as too much confidence and what would that look like? AND, what does trust have to do with it?Don’t miss it….
Background on the Building of this Series
While the observations are mine alone and they are coloured by my own journey and many of the tools I have learned along the way including MBTI, Enneagram, Kersey-Bates, DISC, Colors, StrengthsFinder and more… this series was inspired largely by a new tool and my own very specific reflection exercise or case study. To increase my comfort with and ability to apply the tool with clients I created a case study for myself in 2013 to further my own learning.
The Tool
A number of years ago I was introduced to a progressive model called Tilt 365–a positive influence predictor. It combines a 360 degree assessment with a framework for leadership development. It uses the 21st Century language of strengths with a focus on interests or as the founder and research scientist behind it, Dr Pam Boney would say, interests or preferences.
In a recent mastery call with her, Dr Boney reminded us that leaders can be really intelligent, competent and driven but if they don’t attend to their character strengths, no one will follow them…at least not when it matters. Dr. Boney talked about how when a leader over or under uses their strengths or preferences, they steal energy, making your teams and organizations less creative and productive.
Not being a proponent of the typical 360 experience I wasn’t immediately interested in Tilt 365. Based on advice from a mentor I trust, I decided to invest in learning more and I earned my Certification as a Tilt 365 Practitioner and Coach.
My Case Study
The next step for me was to do my own case study, based on my own experience to see how I could and would have used the learning as a leader AND to develop leaders reporting to me. One day in 2015 I realized how much my reflections during the completion of the case study had strengthened my ability to apply Tilt 365 AND how often I saw its application to the leadership experience of my clients.
Interestingly, as much as I learned from the exercise of the case study, creating this series has only enhanced my comfort in and belief about the tool.
The story, that forms the foundation of my case study, and the people do exist (not their real names of course) and are part of my leadership journey.
If you are interested in learning more about Tilt 365 or would like to explore how I can help you in your leadership journey using Tilt 365, please contact me for a complementary conversation.