No choice, you say?

When it comes to choice, we so often can’t see that they even exist. However, when our choices are limited, the human brain has a common reaction, reacting often by rebelling rather than seeking to expand our options. Perhaps one question to explore is whether choice is just an illusion.

The 2020 theme of identity continues with this week’s focus on putting a check on our emotions.

In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped August 17th, I reflect on how, during this pandemic people reacted to feeling as though their choice, often referenced as their freedoms, were curtailed. It was an example of Hobson’s Choice in my observation.

For the newsletter, I explore the concept from anther angle and describe the origin story of the concept, referencing the common phrase attributed to Henry Ford as he initiated the beginning of the assembly line approach to generating product.

Finally, in this post I look further at how choice is about choosing. Essentially we choose how we respond or react to excessive choice and limited choice. I posit that it is in our response that the real experience of choice exists.

Choice as a concept

We prefer choice, as a concept. In fact, we confuse it with freedom. Interestingly, when we have too few, we feel constrained. Yet, when we have too much, we feel overwhelmed. Furthermore, researchers have shown us that the quality of our decisions fits into a very limited sweet spot.

In this post I explore the extremes and the path between them. Additionally, we often fail to recognize choices where they exist. We often hear the phrase, “I have no choice.” As important as it is for us to sift through choices, we benefit from recognizing what a choice actually is, FIRST.

We may feel a choice doesn’t exist, the more we dislike the options.

Is choice an illusion? Many have claimed that it is. Furthermore, the argument suggests this illusion is perpetrated by the powerful over the powerless. This may be true. Regardless, when we have choice, it is important to see it and grasp it fully. If choice is an illusion, is there a benefit in maintaining the illusion?

Too Much Choice

An abundance of choice appears impossible, in principles. We believe we will make a better choice when we have more options. This is proven to be untrue. Our brains can not manage an overwhelming number of choices. We are advised to spend more time considering what we want before seeking the options in the path to creating it. Similarly, it is wise to focus on self awareness before asking our self what we want. Confused?

We are all confused about what we want. Ask anyone this question. I do it all the time and even those who articulate it clearly, at first, ultimately circle back with justifications and explanations that indicate it wasn’t as clear as they initially thought it was.

When we talk with those in countries with less choice or who have experienced less choice, their path forward has been smoother. They may not be happier, but their path is easier.

Too much choice requires more mental processing.

Behavioural and organizational psychologists advise clients to limit choices quickly and evaluate the top options to maintain clarity of thought. I like the Double-Reversal Method to identify my top choices, after which I weigh the amount of effort and resources required for the top five and choose the least effortful two. It is a straightforward method to reduce my options. It is systematic and reasonable. In the event I can’t let go of an option that doesn’t make it past any of the “cuts”, I know I must return and at least consider my attraction.

I do have regrets. Regret is most common in situations when I was not willing to limit my choices. In these cases, my failure to get to the clear choice effectively, cost me time and effective execution.

Robbed of Choice

During this pandemic many people say the rules are unclear. There really are no options and the rules are straightforward. It appears the confusion is coming from the clouded thinking we experience when we feel our autonomy is limited. This is much like feeling our choice is constrained or controlled. This is also an illusion.

It turns out that choice is really a matter of how we choose to see our experience. As children, we are obsessed with getting what we want, when we want it. We are clear and demanding. Adults are threatened by our behaviour and seek to control it, for their own ends. It is not malicious. It is a matter of survival or sanity.

May parents tell their children when they are hungry and when they are sleepy. Additionally, they telegraph that their own feelings are the responsibility of the child. “You are making me angry.” “Your are giving me a headache with all your noise.”

We learn that how we feel and what we want are either a reflection of others or responsible for how others feel. We struggle to recognize options and choice as such when we internalize these lessons.

Looking for the choice at every turn will help us all be more responsible contributors in every facet of our life.

Life is one big Experiment

Is choice an illusion? Can we choose how to look at an event or an outcome? When life is an experiment, we focus on what we can learn about our self and about the world. As one of my favourite theoretical physicists said, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” – Max Planck

Continuous learning and fresh insights are the goal of the experimental approach. What will the evidence teach us? Moreover, this approach is generative in addition to being iterative. With an experimental collaborative approach, we may find progress is faster and we go further. In collaboration we can crack this, but only together with a willingness to learn and honour the data and the stories will we arrive where we seek to go.

We may be capable of more closely monitoring and learning from our choices and decisions and build capacity to adjust our actions to meet the current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold. There’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure we’re able to influence results more deeply. This mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only meaningful results. Furthermore, it’s essential we learn to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment.

Walk with me.

Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be. Where may client wants to go is my paramount focus. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well-developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully

Be part of the journey in 2020.

Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:

My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.

De-clutter the Mind with Bank Your Impact (BYI)

It is common for us to get stuck, mired in the messiness of our life and career. Choosing where to direct our attention, effort and impact is critical. Moreover, it’s our responsibility to focus on the skills, knowledge and capacities that move us to where we want to be. A career built on the skill of navigating and responding to opportunities as they arise is generative and progressive.

The BYI system helps participants build the strength to engage when challenges appear. It’s an approach focused on identifying options, making wise choices and committing to influencing desired outcomes. Furthermore, it takes a systematic and experiential approach to influence the outcomes we produce. Moreover, becoming aware of who we are being and how it produces the results in our life is a consequence of the choices we made and how we execute on those choices. Ultimately, creating the life we want starts with the actions we choose to take.

To get what we truly want in life, we need to be willing to persist, seek help, and continually look for transferable learning opportunities. Additionally, we need to be willing to question our choices and expand our options through healthy curiosity and a search for unique perspectives. Moreover, identifying and nurturing our identity is the place to start. A healthy meaningful and full life is made possible with clarity about our values, beliefs, patterns and habits. Additionally, our quality of life is influenced and shaped by our unique blend of strengths and inclinations. Undoubtedly, a growth mindset and open-minded approach are foundations to sustaining this healthy sense of self.

The System

The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.

The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021). My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.

Holding space to support my clients in:

Developing meaningful insights
Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights

An organic experience

The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.

Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be

In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.

You can read more about my work and my in the About Me section of the website and below is a recording of my #bigwhystory:

Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?

If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.

Willing to do the work to find more meaning?

With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me… My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.

Walk with Me!

BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.

In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.

Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.Love

No Choice, You Say?!