Finally, in this post I attempt to go one step further. I suggest we need to see the link between our opportunity to overcome the odds and our ability to notice and choose. Our clarity expands when we refuse to accept a deterministic view. Moreover, our identity is formed by the choices we ultimately make.

Probabilities Explained

How Probabilities Compel us 

Let’s start with the math! Probability is framed in a formula. It’s the ratio of the number of favorable outcomes to the total number of possible outcomes. It measures the likelihood of an event in the following way: – If P(A) > P(B) then event A is more likely to occur than event B. – If P(A) = P(B) then events A and B are equally likely to occur. Of course we could make it more intricate and apply a Venn diagram and the additional rule for probability. In fact, we may find that helps when we examine our own identity because not one of us fits neatly into a box.

Therefore, I’ll make it simple. Who do we want to be? Our identity isn’t foisted upon us. Our identity is formed by the choices we make. When we make them mindfully, we own and influence the results we produce. When we, instead, act or cower from fear, based on ill considered probabilities, we make poor choices. Moreover, we fail to see that it was a choice and then refuse to own the results produced. Perhaps we then become the lowest common denominator of our own potential.

Our interpretation of probabilities generates our evaluation of a situation. We draw conclusions about every situation to develop the interpretation. The probability, as we see it, that something will turn out a certain way compels a certain response. In other words, how we assess the probabilities drives our outcome.

Probabilities Shaken, Free Us

We feel more free to make conscious and healthy choices when we are willing to challenge or question the probabilities. Unfortunately it is very hard to shake up thinking and decision making, once fear permeates.

In other posts this week I use the coronavirus outbreak to make a point. I realize it’s possible the WHO will declare a pandemic before I publish or promote this post. Still, I suggest fear and conspiracies theories are contributing factors to our reaction. We see it in the markets too. A week ago the major stock indices were recording record highs. As of today, they have tumbled severely based on fear.

The Lewis Thomas quote (above) reminds us to put things in perspective. Contracting coronavirus is a really small probability for most of us. Just as being BORN at all, for each one of us, is statistically unlikely. In other words, rather than being paralyzed by fear we need to feel freed by this realization. With perspective, we may choose to make wise choices applying the logic of probabilities rather than the emotion that so often clouds our ability to even see the choice we are making.

In other words, we are free to make choices. I evaluate the risk and make wise decision. We need to stop being paralyzed by the fear of the smallest probability something will go wrong. Of course the probability of something happening is good. NOW, make it GOOD, or at least worthwhile, by influencing it through conscious decisions.

Choice and Probabilities 

The probability of most things is fluid. In other words, the likelihood shifts. Choices made change the trajectory of how events unfold. This exacerbates the impact of every choice we make.

What we choose, consciously, impacts the probabilities. Things are always happening. Every choice drives what ultimately happens, determining the final outcome. Each of us can use our influence to impact it and build our identity in doing so. Moreover, here’s a three step process to support the effort, in three repeatable steps:

1. Be clear, or continue to expand clarity, about the desired state or destination.
2. Identify options and commit to choices.
3. Evaluation progress against the choices made and the destination envisioned. Adjust as necessary and review new options for next round and return to examine step one.

Probabilities may express the likelihood of something occurring. Still, chances are our small decisions along the way greatly influence the final outcome. Remember, a probable outcome is fluid. It is not set in stone.

We consistently fail to understand probabilities. Furthermore, this impacts us negatively. An inability to rationally process potential risk paralyzes us The BYI system helps participants identify options, make wise choices and commit to influencing desired outcomes. It takes a systematic and experiential approach to influence the outcomes we produce. Moreover, becoming aware of who we are being and how it produces the results in our life is a consequence of the choices we made and how we execute on those choices. Ultimately, creating the life we want starts with the  actions we choose to take.

Furthermore, to get what we truly want in life, we need to be willing to persist, seek help, and continually look for transferable learning opportunities. Additionally, we need to be willing to question our choices and expand our options through healthy curiosity and a search for unique perspectives. Moreover, identifying and nurturing our identity is the place to start.

A healthy meaningful and full life is made possible with clarity about our values, beliefs, patterns and habits. Additionally, our quality of life is influenced and shaped by our unique blend of strengths and inclinations. Undoubtedly, a growth mindset and open-minded approach are foundations to sustaining this healthy sense of self.

The System

The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021).

My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.

Holding space to support my clients in:

• Developing meaningful insights
• Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
• Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
• Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights

An organic experience

The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.

In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.

With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me…

My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.

• BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
• SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.

In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.

• Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.