Meaning-making is a shared human trait. When choosing to make this my New Year’s theme I hadn’t anticipated it becoming my 2019 theme. Those who follow me on Instagram know the story on how that changed and I briefly share it below. As my theme for the year, I’ll outline a few of the weekly themes I expect to include AND I’ll talk about the significance of “meaning” more generally in this post.
This week’s podcast episode references Viktor Frankl’s 1946 book “Man’s Search For Meaning”. I recommend you read it, if you have not. Frankl argues that finding meaning is the primary desire of every single human being. In the episode I share how I chose this theme for the week because of how it seemed the most common underlying issue for my clients – the 30-35 year old crowd. This week my “tip” is an invocation as: “your life matters. Your purpose matters. Achieving your personal purpose relies on you finding meaning in your daily life. By aligning it with the needs, hopes and potential of the all of human kind, your likelihood of success grows exponentially”.
My newsletter this week shares the story of how on New Year’s Day, based on an experience at one of the NYE parties I attended, I make the decision for it to be my theme for the year. I also share a bit of that story more succinctly in my Instagram video which you’ll find posted on January 2nd.
Why Meaning Making
You are a meaning-making machine. At least, your brain is. We’ve explored this together in various forms before. Essentially, We examined it in terms of attitude and story and attention. When examining disputations recently, you may have noticed how it was directly related to this, perhaps with a twist.
What’s the twist? Human beings add meaning, often unconsciously, to everything. It may be why you ruminate as much as you do about your interactions with others. I spent some time recently with one of the young adults in my life who beautifully expressed the pain she feels growing up. I was struck by how she gets caught in that common human spiral that interrupts sleep. She appears to be easy-going and even “happy-go-lucky”. It turns out, this was the mistaken interpretation I attached to my observations. We worked on disputations together. She was very good at using them impressively quickly. I look forward to hearing how they help her over the months ahead. The skill of developing healthy disputations, at its core, helps you challenge or test the meaning you’ve attached to something so it can be helpful. Otherwise, it can sabotage you.
That’s the why: less self-sabotage and improved performance in life and career.
Meaning Themes Under Consideration
Initially, I expected to explore meaning in this post from a more esoteric or perhaps philosophical perspective. It was that experience New Year’s Eve and my conversation with the young adult I mention above, that shifted my intention. Instead, I’ll outline below a few themes I’m considering in the coming year. My goal is to challenge my own thinking and yours. I’ll attempt to share not only ideas and principles about meaning while offering tools and tips to help you on the journey.
My intention for the year: with an open heart and a curious mind, seek to explore what is giving, taking, honouring and expanding meaning in my life and the lives of my clients. I invite you on-board, there’re three suggested ways you may engage with me on the trip outlined in the footer of this post AND I’ll share these every week in hopes you and your friends join me.
While I reserve the right to shift my thinking, conclusions or ideas on each these as I work on them, below are a few of the themes I anticipate exploring as they relate to meaning.
The Search for Independence or Freedom
Almost half of my recent clients have declared or discovered that freedom is their top or, one of their top, personal values. Isn’t that interesting? We have more freedom than ever and yet I hear how this is not only a value people hold but it’s a goal they aspire to. Upon reflection, it seems to me this is an element of finding and/or making meaning. Clearly, your values reveal a lot about your search for meaning. Mining your thinking, experiences, hopes, failures and dreams to discover what you value most is critical to this journey.
For those who don’t identify freedom as a top value, the exploration of this value may incite new insights in you too. I hope you’ll join us to dig into it in an upcoming episode and series of posts.
Power of Resilience
Resilience is the focus of one of my workshops. Expanding your resilience is one of the benefits of participating in my overall system. Essentially, resilience is the ability to over come the obstacles that prevent you from finding and living your meaningful life. When you have a set of skills helping you realize your passionate purpose coupled with the tools to be your most tenacious self, you will move mountains. Not just any mountains but the mountains that matter to you. Isn’t that what finding and living meaning is all about?
A Service Mindset
Service is intriguing to me. What drives people to serve a particular master? Do you recall that old Bob Dylan song? The song still resonates for me, perhaps, because it came out when I was first exploring meaning and purpose. “You’re gonna have to serve somebody,” he sang. It was one of his more overtly religious songs but it’s applicable when thinking and exploring meaning as well.
I’ve shared how service was modeled in my family in past podcast episodes. I share a story in my holiday episode in 2015 #26 about my maternal grandparents. My grandfather lived a short life (he died at 46 years of age) always hoping to be of service, not just in principle, but in deed. In the follow up episode #27, I outlined 6 related characteristics of a leader in service. I may choose to build on these episodes as I expand on the component of building and nurturing meaning in life.
The Intention to Connect
It seems to me, meaning is built on people or perhaps, relationship. As a species, we’ve become really great at connecting technologically at least. How has this ability to connect to each other facilitated our capacity to connect with each other. I look forward to exploring how connection feeds meaning and meaning connection. International Networking Week comes in early February. I may consider focusing one or two themes on how meaning is derived by how we connect in today’s workplace.
This heading incorporated the word “intention” on purpose. I often wonder if we are making the act of connecting more important than the depth of the connections we are nurturing.
Fear of the improbable
This topic has me excited. How does fear interfere with, not only our desire to build and value meaning, but our ability to do so. When reading about fear last year, I made a note to reflect on how humans have the tendency to fear the improbable, more than the possible. Is that part of what sabotages our dreams? This feels big to me so I’m not sure when I’ll fully explore it, but a part of me is excited to dig into it.
Three Benefits
I’m putting the finishing touches on a visual representation of my model; I prefer to call it my system. This system includes four bases, 7 concepts and 3 benefits. The three benefits for me are significant to my mission. I will dig into each of these three to reflect on how they add meaning for me and for my clients or prospective clients.
- Resilience – I love watching tenacious people tackle hard goals so I decided to read the research on resilience a few years ago. In doing so, I realize I want to support a healthy version of it. Additionally, I want to help others develop the related skills them self so they too could enjoy finding and delivering on their purpose.
- Belonging – This one fell into my lap as I explored other things. When reading Ray Baumeister’s research in preparation for a speaking gig three years ago, I was gleefully surprised to learn how everything we as human beings do, is in our quest to belong. As I’ve explored it since, the truth of it has become clearer. Beyond that, I’m learning how it can be both healthy and seriously detrimental to both the individual and the collective. I help my clients see how it’s impacting your life so you’re able to choose a healthy sense of belonging.
- Presence – Have you ever worked with or met someone who you would describe as “comfortable in their own skin”? Strangely it is a rare person who feels it but you all know it when you see it. At least you think that’s what the person is feeling when you see it. I know the quest for presence is a key ingredient to finding and nurturing your presence and a deep meaning in your life. It is not so much the destination of “presence” that I want to give my clients but rather then joy and experience of the journey.
Significance of the Image
In my newsletter I promise to share why I chose the image of chairs for this theme.
In my early 20’s I enjoyed a few recurring dreams in which a chair was presented to me in one form or another. I got a lot of laughs when I shared the strangeness of these dreams at parties. One dream contained a royal-type chair. Another, a comfortable arm chair that you’d expect to see in front of a warm fire. Still another was a stool that looked very comfortable.
At age 25, I was promoted to management in the male dominated financial sector. I don’t recall having the dreams as much in my late 20’s BUT in my 30’s they started again. Then, a partner in a business but not feeling I was making the impact I wanted, I decided to expand the business adding a unit that would allow me to broaden my reach. That opened up opportunities to consult and work with leadership teams, reducing stress while improving performance and collaboration. Ultimately, this lead to one of my clients encouraging me to sell my shares in the company I co-owned and accepting a leadership role that excited my career passions. Again, with this choice, my dreams about chairs diminished. The significance of the chair in finding meaning is clear to me. Finding your voice and living your purpose is a search for your seat at the table. Take the challenge and find your seat.
How We Can Walk together…
How’s meaning-making serving you? Are you feeling empty and without purpose? What if it’s a direct result of how you choose to define meaning? Want to get unstuck from the way your brain is limiting your ability to see and make meaning in your life?
In April 2018 I had a brush with meaning in a new way and it moved me to realize I felt a calling to work with those in their 30’s – whether you are in that phase of life by age or spirit! My client is someone who realizes you are just on the cusp of the kind of success they were hoping for, OR you’ve arrived there, AND you realize it doesn’t hold the meaning you attached to it. YOU are ready to do some self exploring & finding the real meaning of your life.
In June 2018 I decided to take a course in story telling. I’ve been involved in story telling and I’ve hired story telling coaches in the past but taking this course was all about finding the inner story that was my WHY. this is the story that illumintated my purpose. It is what adds meaning to the work I am currently doing. Listen below:
Is finding purpose and meaning in your life and in your career important to you?
Are you ready to unpack the tough stuff so you can find your north star?
Is your career all that you want it to be and more? If you answered yes to this last one, I’m so happy for you. Don’t you want that for everyone you know? THEN, pass on my message to everyone in your network in case it resonates for them.
Want to learn to #unpack4impact? Willing to do the work to search for meaning?
Once you have the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my system, you’ll begin to see the impact in your career and you’ll find what matters most to you. Join me
My goal is to make my system accessible and affordable. There are many ways you can engage with me….here are THREE to get started without spending a dime.
Ready to walk with you.
- Register for an ASK ROX RoundTable… TWO 50 minute engagements on ZOOM per month limited at 12 participants in each.
- BOOK a complimentary exploratory conversation 15-20 minutes.
- Subscribe to my mailing list, receive an interactive exercise helping you cope with stress, and a weekly reflection.
Of course I’d love to work with you, your team or organization so…
- Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving relationships, and increasing performance are popular.