Each one of us is more than the labels used to describe us. When we focus on our intentions and the impact we want to make, who we are gains clarity.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ― Aristotle
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” ― Ralph Ellison
The 2020 theme of identity continues with this week’s focused exploration. Each of us consist of a multitude of identities. In fact with preparation, we benefit from considering and balancing the impact of our actions as they relate to each of our identities.
In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped August 24th, I reflect on how each of us is more than the boxes or labels we use to define our self. I share about a friend challenging my declaration of who I was and how he was right.
For the newsletter, I offer a unique model, while outlining how, when using it recently, I learned a few things about how others see me differently.
Finally, in this post I examine three dimensions of how we are most often defined. My goal is to remind myself and my reader that our identities are much more diverse in their nuance than we often recognize. Diversity is the seamless integration of a global perspective on when differences – human, cultural and systems – are leveraged as a competitive advantage for a country, organization or community.
I am, Who By my Physical, Preferences & Experiences
I learned when working on projects for Diversity, Inclusion and Integration that there are essentially three dimensions across which we are diverse. When each is considered in the development of the educational program, adherence and meaningful action in response is increased, real change is possible.
The first of these three categories is one I will refer to as Human Diversity. It includes our race and ethnicity, sex and physical ability. Additionally it covers our age, sexual orientation and even our marital or family status. My friends in the States argue that it must include military status as well. While I had some difficulty with the last one, I have no experience to dispute their claim that it is a defining factor.
Human Diversity speaks to the impact our experience as a woman, LGBTQ2S, differently abled or person of colour has on our experience of the world.
The power of our mind.
I am, Who By my Beliefs, Values & Personal Characteristics
The Cultural Diversity category is clearly defined by language or gender norms. Furthermore, it is often identified by our religion, historic differences or ethics and values.
Recently I heard someone speak about the power of an origin story. They were talking about the impact of the origin story in the United States. Clearly, they were justifying the civil rights struggle. As I listened to it, I thought of Hugh MacLennan’s book called “Two Solitudes”. A Canadian author exploring our distinct characteristics as framed by the English and French settlers who chose to cohabit the country even after the English were victorious in the battle over the land. Of course, the story fails to recognize the disenfranchisement of indigenous peoples. Since the writing of the book, Canada has been forced to face that horrifying element of our origin story as well. We can see how this story colours our beliefs, values, and characteristics.
I recall when first bringing the diversity conversation to workplaces in Canada. People were surprised by how many conversations focused on French Canadians. I remember in 1998 remarking to a friend and colleague that I hadn’t realized, even growing up in a very diverse, multilingual community how deeply entrenched the old battles remained in the hearts of Canadians.
Each one of us is deeply impacted by our origin story. Recently a friend admitted he hated Americans. He decided he wanted to work on it. In fact, he sought counselling to release him self of this deeply held emotion. He told me last week he came to realize that his grandparents had settled in a midwestern state and were so poorly received they resettled in Canada at the start of the last century. He had grown up with the stories and anger and it latched on to him.
I am, Who By My Structural, Cultural Systems & Environment
This last category is likely the most difficult to see or embed in our response. It challenges our systems or structures while hiding within them. This category includes the way we engineer or reengineer our systems and structures that may benefit some at the expense of others. It may include education or alliances, or areas of innovation. I refer to this as Systems or Structural Diversity.
This is the most insidious and difficult to change or even to recognize. We find it in our legal and education systems in addition to the norms that govern our behaviour.
In our legal system, systemic beliefs are rampant in precedents that drive legal interpretations into the future. The nuance is caught in legalese so we fail to see it. Ruth Bader Ginsberg was brilliant in catching this problem and using it in her arguments.
In education we perpetrate the same biases. Curriculum design is a common place in which they are perpetuated. Additionally, old biases are embedded in the structure of the rubrics used to evaluate performance.
Finally, systemic bias is embedded in data and computer code. Sloppy-in, sloppy-out!
Life is one big Experiment
When life is an experiment, we focus on what we can learn about our self and about the world. As Einstein’s fellow theoretical physicist said, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” – Max Planck
Continuous learning and fresh insights are the goal of the experimental approach. What will the evidence teach us? Moreover, this approach is generative in addition to being iterative. With an experimental collaborative approach, we may find progress is faster and we go further. In collaboration we can crack this, but only together with a willingness to learn and honour the data and the stories will we arrive where we seek to go.
We may be capable of more closely monitoring and learning from our choices and decisions and build capacity to adjust our actions to meet the current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold. There’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure we’re able to influence results more deeply. This mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only meaningful results. Furthermore, it’s essential we learn to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment.
Walk with me.
Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be. Where may client wants to go is my paramount focus. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well-developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully
Be part of the journey in 2020.
Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:
- My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
- My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
- Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.
Know Thyself with Bank Your Impact (BYI)
The System
The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.
The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021). My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.
Holding space to support my clients in:
- Developing meaningful insights
- Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
- Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
- Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights
An organic experience
The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.
Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be
In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.
Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?
If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.
Willing to do the work to find more meaning?
With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me… My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.
Walk with Me!
- BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
- SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.
In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.
- Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.Love