Getting the outcomes we seek means being open to exploration and creativity. Being both incisive and insightful helps us get to the desired outcome.
The 2020 theme of identity continues with this week’s focused exploration. Each of us consist of a multitude of identities. In fact with preparation, we benefit from considering and balancing the impact of our actions as they relate to each of our identities.
In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped September 21st, I reflect on the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, who demonstrated that women can do anything a man can do and argued law to support this belief.
For the newsletter, I further explore comments made about Ruth Bader Ginsberg while adding comments about how we struggle to overcome basic gender biases that she fought so hard to expose.
Finally, in this I post I zero in on identities, how they lift us up and how they often hold us back.
Can-Do is
The power of our mind. I talk a lot about our strengths, habits, patterns, and even values and beliefs. These make up who we are in our behaviour. How we think about and process our emotions, thoughts, reactions, biases and judgments may have a greater impact on what we are capable of accomplishing.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg overcame many obstacles, in large part, because of how she choose to embrace the identities whe had foisted on her while pushing beyond them when opportunities arose. Frankly, the first part of that has been almost impossible for me to do.
I used “almost” to emphasize that I had a choice to make it possible. Frist of all , it was essential that I maintained sight on the fact that I was able to do this because I sit and sometimes stand on the shoulders of women, people, like RBG.
I am, who I was born to be
We all have baggage related to our source. My identity is partly the result of my DNA. I don’t mean my actual, scientific biology but what it contains in terms of my foundation. I was born to lower-middle class, first generation, moderately educated prairie parents who grew up in the depression era on a family farm raised by hard working, religious refugees. All of this informed who I have become in many ways that sometimes shocks me.
Growing up on the prairies makes me adventurous and spirit. That didn’t show up in everyone of my sisters in the same way but that pioneering spirit makes a dent in our identifies.
As the second daughter of professional parents who had to work, plan and risk in order to exceed their low-middle class start, I learned to be excessively responsible and open to taking risks. In fact my risky behaviour caused my parents to wonder out loud whether I would ever settle down in my life style or my use of money. My mother recently told me about the many conversation she and my dad had about this concern.
I had exposure to both city and country life as my parents raised us in a small city with frequent extended visits to their shared farming community. This informs my view of city life and understanding of the rural perspective. Interestingly it also deeply impacted the early days of my career.
I could go on and explore how religious dogma and western politics informed who I became but I think I have made my point.
We are far more than one identify.
We are a mix and mash that even extends back to people and influences that are outside of our own life time. I continue to feel deeply influenced by the story of my maternal grandparents. They fled Eastern Europe on borrowed papers hoping and succeeding in getting around the “rules”.
I am talking this week about the can-do attitude. Essentially though, I am speaking about knowing we are more than we think we are. Moreover, to value the contributions of others we must start by valuing all aspects of our self. In fact the biggest harm we inflict on others usually starts from a judgement or limitation we put on our self.
I am, who my labels say I am
We all have assigned labels. It isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing. It is important, however, to ensure the labels we accept don’t limit us.
Who I am is more than any label can define. I am a woman and yet I have strong masculine qualities and skills. Someone may be a mechanical engineer with a sharp critical mind and logical processing capacity and still be incredibly spiritual and intuitive. I am progressively liberal and still fiscally quite conservative.
When we use labels to assist us in understanding while not limiting our scope of understanding or valuing differences, we make better choices. Labels are valuable when they offer clarity. They are not so useful when they hold us back from learning. They can do somethings but not everything. We will prioritize with a more ruthless spirit when we accept that our capacity to choose a label for the moment rather than allow it to be imposed. Learn to choose, ruthlessly. Pick a label and play with it, if that helps. It is fun to pick and choose.
One thing Ruth Bader Ginsberg showed us, by example, was that she would not be defined by the labels. When the label opens up an opportunity, try it on. When it limits you or obligates, cast it off. Life is one big experiment so have some fun with a variety of labels, if you like.
Life is one big Experiment
We can do more than we think we can. When life is an experiment, we focus on what we can learn about our self and about the world. Do we feel challenged by the fellow theoretical physicist who said, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” – Max Planck
Continuous learning and fresh insights are the goal of the experimental approach. What will the evidence teach us? Moreover, this approach is generative in addition to being iterative. With an experimental collaborative approach, we may find progress is faster and we go further. In collaboration we can crack this, but only together with a willingness to learn and honour the data and the stories will we arrive where we seek to go.
We may be capable of more closely monitoring and learning from our choices and decisions and build capacity to adjust our actions to meet the current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold. There’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure we’re able to influence results more deeply. This mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only meaningful results. Furthermore, it’s essential we learn to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment.
Walk with me.
Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be. Where may client wants to go is my paramount focus. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well-developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully
Be part of the journey in 2020.
Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:
- My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
- My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
- Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.
We can Bank (Y)our Impact (BYI)
The System
The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.
The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021). My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.
Holding space to support my clients in:
- Developing meaningful insights
- Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
- Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
- Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights
An organic experience
The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.
Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be
In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.
Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?
If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.
Willing to do the work to find more meaning?
With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me… My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.
Walk with Me!
- BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
- SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.
In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.
- Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.Love