“Recent research in social psychology has shown that happy people are not people who have more; rather, they are people who are happy with what they already have. Happy people engage in satisficing all of the time, even if they don’t know it.” – Daniel J. Levitin
The 2020 theme of identity continues with my exploration of who we are and who we want to be.
In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped November 23rd, I share the realization one very driven client had about the value of welcoming a satisficing approach into the standards he sets for his team periodically.
For the newsletter, I examine the importance seeing the benefit in asking what is good enough and allowing our self to take that breath and be okay with satisficing, once in a while.
Finally, in this post I explore how this approach will benefit the human spirit and ultimately excellence in performance.
Satisficing is Good Enough or Better
Settling for satisfied doesn’t immediately generate faith that standards are meaningful. And yet it does remind us that high standards are not the means to achieving the ultimate goal.
Since we know that “happy people are not people who have more; rather, they are people who are happy with what they already have”, we can see the damage a relentless drive for standards has and can do.
Compassion and happiness in and of themselves set us up to achieve more. We have a clearer view of the future and we are better able to see impending challenges. This motivates us to keep going while helping us to avoid or navigate the worst challenges in the process.
Satisficing is Good for the Soul
Like many of my readers, I take great pride in setting high standards both for myself and others. The first thought I have when thinking about how my standards have impacted others, is the running joke former employees reporting to me tell about the number of interviews they had before being hired. They would share their number and that was enough for them to bond. Apparently I was a tough interview in addition to needing multiple opportunities to challenge every candidate.
I wear my high standards as a badge of honour. They are one of my strengths in fact. Like many strengths though, we tend to go into over-use far too often. Then we swing, in an effort to correct, into under-use. As much as I dismissed the joke for former employees, internally I held it like a stamp of approval.
In time, with reflection, I realized some people didn’t come through my scrutiny and tough leadership as well equipped as others. I liked to hear the monumental impact I had with those who benefited and dismiss the evidence of others who shrunk under my leadership. When I found the lesson of satisficing and the impact of compassionate leadership I really started to grow as a human and a leader.
High standards are character building. Demanding leadership without love and compassion are taxing at best and abusive at worst. Our souls will do well to find the nappy medium and refrain from swinging from one side to the other.
Satisficing is Good for Relationships
People like to feel valued. They need to know they add value. In fact team and individual performance improves along with relationships. It seems counter intuitive. It was a hard lesson for me to learn.
I always had high expectations – standards – or myself and people who worked for me. Still, learned, the hard way, that sometimes being satisfied improved relationships so much that excellence was not far behind.
Granted, I did find that satisficing, following the establishment and communication of high standards, was most effective.
When people know what they are capable of doing and then also learn they are valued for more than pushing for it every time the delivery on goals becomes a choice. When performance to our highest capacity is a choice, self-compassion becomes possible.
I learned this a couple of decades ago when my team and I experienced a crisis together. I see it even more clearly in 2020 as my clients navigate this pandemic and struggle to support teams of people in a shared but novel crisis. We have to know when “good enough” is GREAT. Relationships will be saved and team performance will ultimately be raised.
Life is one big Experiment
An experimental, iterative, approach to life is a recognition that truth is found in the act of seeking. Standards, high and well meaning as they may be, must be tested and examined periodically to ensure they serve us and our intentions rather than the other way around.
Continuous learning and fresh insights are the goal of the experimental approach. What will the evidence teach us? Moreover, this approach is generative in addition to being iterative. With an experimental collaborative approach, we may find progress is faster and we go further. In collaboration we can crack this, but only together with a willingness to learn and honour the data and the stories will we arrive where we seek to go.
We may be capable of more closely monitoring and learning from our choices and decisions and build capacity to adjust our actions to meet the current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold. There’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure, we’re able to influence results more deeply. Moreover, this mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only meaningful results. Furthermore, it’s essential we learn to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment.
Walk with me.
Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be. Therefore, where my client wants to go, is my paramount focus. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well-developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully
Be part of the journey in 2020.
Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:
- My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
- My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
- Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.
Satisficing is Banking (Y)Our Impact (BYI)
The System
The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.
The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021). My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.
Holding space to support my clients in:
- Developing meaningful insights
- Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
- Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
- Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights
An organic experience
The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.
Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be
In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.
Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?
If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.
Willing to do the work to find more meaning?
With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me… My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.
Walk with Me!
- BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
- SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.
In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.
- Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.