“Squirrel: the unexpected” is one of the most difficult situations to navigate. I am trying to get at it this week from various angles.

Yikes. Squirrel!

By “Squirrel”, I point to the unexpected. It is specifically referencing the unanticipated kind. Is there another?

Walk with me to recognize how today’s squirrel is impacting you. We’ll build the plan to take the leap with the process that creates the skills necessary upon arrival.

It’s the unexpected that changes our life.

The 2020 theme of identity continues. Recognizing the threat that the unexpected presents is critical to navigating it. #COVID-19 is challenging our ability to navigate it as a species. We must ask our self how we are contributing in positive ways or not.

In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped Monday, March 16th, I describe what I mean by the squirrel effect and I connect it to a cognitive bias that permeates humanity.

For the newsletter, I explore how we benefit from taking a bigger picture view after illustrating more about the benefits of labeling as noted in the podcast episode.

In the weekly Instagram and LinkedIn video, I share my literal squirrel story.

Finally, in this post I’m examining the definition from a new angle, exploring 2 domains of the brain, especially as it relates to leadership, before offering a few strategies these elements suggest are important,

Squirrel: the unexpected defined/described

There are somethings for which we can prepare. In fact most things fit into this category. Even a pandemic. Furthermore, some countries were more prepared than others. Most individuals were not prepared at all. Moreover, our reaction/behaviour speaks to both our inability to prepare and the emotional toll that seems to keep many in denial.

We learn that while we may not see the form and nature of every squirrel in advance, individuals and societies who are best able to adapt to the circumstances benefit significantly.

There is talk that authoritarian states are better equipped because of the control they have. However, I argue that is not necessarily the case. Heavy handed approaches will always be quick. Engaging hearts and minds will essentially be the lasting approach. Moreover, this requires trust in our institutions and a culture of caring for others. When people know the dire impact of their own behaviour AND how it will come back to ultimately change their world, I believe they will do the right thing. It is not typically the first reaction, however.

Squirrel Defined and Explained

A squirrel is the surprise. Moreover, it is the unexpected that knocks us back on our heels or sometimes on our backs. It may be a crisis. Additionally, it may be an event or experience that shakes us to our core, even if just for a second. Our adrenaline kicks in which influences our reaction. Panic, if only for a second, has an impact on our equilibrium. In the podcast I refer to it as dealing with the unexpected when you least expect it.

Transferring the Lesson of the Squirrel

The underlying lesson of the squirrel is transferable. We may never, in any of our lifetimes, experience a more discombobulating set of circumstances as we are right now. Regardless, we will encounter serious, destructive and challenging dilemmas again.

The ability to stay in the moment and see what is working and what is not helps us carry the lessons forward in life.

We see that applied by public health officials. In Singapore and South Korea they responded reasonably well to COVID-19 because of lessons learned with SARS in 2002-03. While it may be too early to draw conclusions about their response, we see lessons applied from SARS in Canada as well.

Additionally, we see lessons from the 2007-08 financial crisis coming to bear in the responses from G7 countries. In fact some of the new measures they are using were developed based on lessons learned. The transfer of knowledge will help us all even as the scale appears significantly greater.

We are all capable of transferring lessons with a bit of processing and willingness to be creative to make meaningful connections.

Squirrel: the unexpected in 2 domains

We are triggered when we are exposed to the extremely unexpected, as is currently the case around the world at the moment. Moreover, we feel out of control and vulnerable in unique ways. To make the situation worse, the entire world and everyone around each and every one of us is feeling the same thing. Additionally, this means that while some may feel it more acutely at different times, there are less anchors for any of us to grab.

Before breaking down the two domains I want to offer credit to the NeuroLeadership Institute. I learned the SCARF model from them and have taken many of their courses on how it applies to human engagement. It is from this model that I chose to identify the two domains to focus on this week.

Uncertainty: the domain of confusion

We are feeling uncertain. Our health is at risk. The health of those we love is also uncertain. Our financial future is up in the air. For those who have been saving or investing for retirement, see their reserves tanking. Those who are in the mid point of their career are uncertain about what the future of their job or the economy has in store for them. We are in uncertain times like never before.

Cognitive dissonance is a huge component that’s dramatically impacting us all. I notice it in the questions asked by reporters. More so, I’ve observed members of the press saying that things are unclear, when I have processed them to the point they are very clear. There is a lot to process, which adds to the feeling of dissonance.

This uncertainty, as studied for decades by neuroscience, is a trigger for our brains. Moreover, the experience results in a few dramatic reactions. One common response to uncertainty is fuzzy thinking. We don’t feel like we can concentrate and organize things clearly. A second response is that we make short term or unwise decisions – often this is in the area of caring for our own health. Thirdly people often make emotionally-driven or irrational decisions like hoarding toilet paper.

Relatedness: the domain at the centre of humanity

At a time when we crave people, we are separated. The inability to physically and socially connect with each other is damaging. When we accept how powerful this is, we are tasked with solving for this problem. Furthermore, our need to belong drives everything. Watching the daily briefings and news conferences held by the Federal Government over the last week has been interesting. The questions they get about restricting our civil liberties and why they aren’t acting more quickly to curb them is instructional.

Loneliness is activated in the brain in similar ways that physical pain. In fact the experience reduces our immune system to identify just one. In combination with the feeling of uncertainty, this relatedness element

I’ve observed the care that has been given to win people’s consent, good will and adherence to the public health measures. Force would have been met with resistance. While people have not always adhere strictly to the advice, I suspect this slow and steady shift has been more effective than a heavy-handed approach.

Responding to a Squirrel

In previous posts I shared a couple of strategies. In the podcast I spoke about the value of using labels to frame the unknown or uncertain. I expand on this in the newsletter and offer the idea of adopting a broader picture of the squirrel to help us see it with greater perspective. The ideas or approaches below are specific to each of the domains above. That said, labeling and perspective are great responses to the domain of uncertainty as well.

I work with my clients to build emotional regulation skills. These skills are useful to gain agreement or build consensus at even the best of times. Self regulation also helps us navigate the confusion and lack of clarity. These skills are some of the most transferable to creating success at anything we want to do.

Certainty

As I noted above, uncertainty in any situation leaves us feeling confused and anxious. While in extreme situations such as a pandemic, it is tough, here are three things we can do.

First seek quality information only. We all must be sure of our sources and establish a time of day when we will review. Preferably not just before going to bed. Making good healthy mental and physiological decisions is important.

Second, make the implicit, explicit. This is where the emotional self-regulation skills are critical. Identifying standards and a chosen approach to navigating the crisis is built on an explicit and clear plan. This also adds feelings of some control. We’ve applied this in my family around how to put my 90-year old mother in a bubble.

My third one relates to the second, communicate well and often. What and how we communicate with others is another way to add some structure and control around uncertain times.

Relatedness

I mentioned this earlier. Everything we do is motivated by our need to belong. When we are starved of connection with others it has a serious impact on our mental and physical health. Below are three things we can do to nurture this need.

First, have shared goals with others. In the first week of social distancing a friend in my building asked if we could go walking, 2 metres apart ever day. Just making this shared goal helped me feel connected. Each day it is my role to call my mother at 930 every morning for her first remote check-in. It is part of a plan I have with my siblings.

Life is one big Experiment

The underlying point, again this week, emphasizes the benefit of approaching life as an experiment. Moreover, when we welcome time on the learning edge we embrace the lessons offered more fully. Furthermore, we may then more closely monitor how our choices, decisions and ability to adjust our actions to our current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold.

There’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure we are able to influence results more deeply. This mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only results. Furthermore, it’s essential we have a system to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment.

Walk with me. Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully.

Be part of the journey in 2020.

Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:

My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.

Anticipating the Squirrel using the Bank Your Impact (BYI)

Anticipating the onset and the impact of the squirrel is difficult. The more we can add some certainty to any unexpected circumstances, even in small ways, helps us see our way through it more effectively. The ability to take stock and move forward productively is at the heart of BYI. The system helps participants identify options, make wise choices and commit to influencing desired outcomes. It takes a systematic and experiential approach to influence the outcomes we produce. Moreover, becoming aware of who we are being and how it produces the results in our life is a consequence of the choices we made and how we execute on those choices. Ultimately, creating the life we want starts with the actions we choose to take.

Furthermore, to get what we truly want in life, we need to be willing to persist, seek help, and continually look for transferable learning opportunities. Additionally, we need to be willing to question our choices and expand our options through healthy curiosity and a search for unique perspectives. Moreover, identifying and nurturing our identity is the place to start.

A healthy meaningful and full life is made possible with clarity about our values, beliefs, patterns and habits. Additionally, our quality of life is influenced and shaped by our unique blend of strengths and inclinations. Undoubtedly, a growth mindset and open-minded approach are foundations to sustaining this healthy sense of self.

The System

The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.

The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021).

My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.

Holding space to support my clients in:

Developing meaningful insights
Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights

An organic experience

The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.

Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be

In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.

You can read more about my work and my in the About Me section of the website and below is a recording of my #bigwhystory:

Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?

If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.

Willing to do the work to find more meaning?

With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me…

My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.

Walk with Me!

BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.

In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.

Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.

Beware of Squirrels