Empathy, when warranted, is a powerful skill worth practicing. Actually, I’m toying with the idea that empathy may be a discipline more than a skill. Clearly, empathy expands your perspective opening lines of communication that support your growth and personal performance.

While my podcast episode on empathy is an introduction to why I chose to focus on empathy, it isn’t as meaty as I’d like. The newsletter delves more deeply, offering an introduction into the benefits also outlined below. The story in my Instagram and LinkedIn video offers a fun observation of how empathy can show up even in little moments.  Finally, this blog post gets to the heart of the matter offering both a list of benefits and three ways to generate the skill yourself. I encourage you to build a mini-experiment to practice and play with your capacity for empathy.

Benefits Associated with Empathy

Recently, a client expressed curiosity about whether empathy simply signaled weakness or lack of leadership. He expanded by sharing an experience from early in his career. A leader he reported to, who’d been extremely responsive and engaging, lost the respect of his direct reports and colleagues. We decided to dig into this further. My client realized the loss of respect was the result of the perception that the leader’s behaviour was contrived rather than genuine. This conversation reminded me of how easily one can slip into a shadow when poorly executing on a good intention.

Reflecting on a few of the related stories this client shared, I recall a leadership team I worked with back in the 90’s. The CEO contacted me after learning about emotional intelligence. He and his team decided to build a set of guiding principles for the organization. This effort was initiated after a valued member of the management team accused them of failing to be empathetic. Feeling the heat, they wanted to explore this in depth. Ultimately, they discovered their struggle wasn’t the result of a lack of good intention but an unwillingness to communicate openly and completely. This team learned how to both earn and expand trust as an essential ingredient. It became clear that trust is a by-product of building a discipline of empathy.

Perspective

In the newsletter I outline how a practice of empathy expands perspective. A practice of empathy is built on the belief that more ways of seeing problems, opportunities and potential solutions opens up possibilities. Empathy isn’t about feeling bad or excited for another. It’s about doing the work to understand something through the eyes and experience of others.

When you expand your perspective through a practice of empathy it’s like opening windows. Moreover, it increases your options and creates insights that would otherwise remain dormant. If you are leading change or wanting to inspire innovation, empathy is your ticket to success. Are you someone who wants to expand your contribution in your current workplace, as an entrepreneur, or in a new role or field? Expanding your perspective is essential to making that happen.

Meaningful Connections

My “Banking Your Impact” system includes an element or concept called “Connecting”.  I’m inspired by the research of Roy Baumeister. He simplifies how to develop connections to navigate life and career more effectively. The ability to express genuine empathy is fundamental to generating and cultivating these healthy connections. When you seek to understand how the communication process is unfolding, meaningful connections “take-root”. Empathy, with its focus on understanding another, steers the connection in a healthy direction.

Two types of meaningful connections to consider fostering:

1. Broadly-based Connections. These connections don’t go very deep but they serve your interests by informing you more completely. This part of your network is made up of “check-in” relationships. They are people with whom you seek and share specific advice. I have generated these in marketing, coaching and leadership. When I want to test an idea or concept I find those in my network who can offer expertise. Additionally, I make myself available when they want my input. Sharing information is the key ingredient.
2. Deep and Meaningful Connections. Connections, of this sort, require more attention and nurturing. This the part of your network that supports you when challenges persist. You rely on them. They may be those who help you get things done or evaluate what’s working and what’s not. My coach is one of these people and family, friends and colleagues also fall into this bucket. Trust is a key ingredient.

More Benefits

While the core benefits associated with a powerful practice of empathy are outlined above, it’s worth reviewing three more.

1. Expanded and even enriched engagement. When you feel appreciated and valued in communication your willingness to engage grows. Listen more intently, as a start. You’ll learn more and find your perspective is more valued by others as well.
2. Creative Innovation. Creativity is fueled by healthy and courageous empathy. The best solutions are found when people feel safe enough to risk speaking up. Break the silence in your workplace by being the first to engage in courageous empathy.
3. Improved collaboration and team work. A team that communicates generously overcomes obstacles and delivers outcomes more quickly and more effectively. Empathy instills generosity in relationships. Generosity expands the capacity of a team.

3 Ways to Build Your Empathy

1. Experiment. Empathy is a practice not an outcome. Empathy expands thinking when it’s genuine, consistent and grounded. By taking an experimental approach, the authenticity and humility in your efforts are clear. Experimentation challenges you and stimulates emotion. You learn most (and retain that learning as changed behavior) when the emotional circuits within your brain are activated.
2. Reflect.  Generate a practice of reflection. By stopping and reflecting on the experience of others, you’ll be more curious and open to hearing it and incorporating it into your thinking and decision making.  Mindfully walking outdoors in nature, sitting silently in peer groups to hear colleagues share their stories or ideas, and providing out-of-the-ordinary tasks, enables you to tap into your inner world. The practice is a powerful instrument for cultivating the vital skills of purpose, self-awareness, and empathy.
3. Seek Feedback. Make asking for input a common practice in your day. Your empathy expands when you intentionally seek and value the perspectives of others. Consider contracting a sherpa-like adviser or coach who will “hold space” for you while you sift through the feedback. Engaging a 360 tool may also be useful, however, you’ll want a trusted guide to help you sort through the lessons contained in the feedback.

The price of failing to develop the skill of empathy is too high for you not to attend to the process through which you develop and nurture it. Make an investment in your inner-game today.

How We Can Walk together…