What is Presence? Well I typically describe it by how you are being “in the moment”. A powerful leadership presence requires preparation.
In this week’s podcast we explore how you establish positive intent in any conversation through how you are being or the energy you bring to the conversation. As a leader it is your responsibility to bring your best self into every interaction. It is difficult because, of course, it requires you to push a lot of the noise and distractions that come with the responsibility you carry as a leader to the side.
As many of you already know, when a leader fails to show up with an open and engaged presence they are at risk of creating a BIG MESS: misunderstandings, hard feelings, resentments, confusion…. to name but a few. Sometimes by neglecting to build sufficient breathing space into your schedules you make it impossible to be fully present and engaged. I have often found it curious to watch leaders ignite or fan the flames simply by failing to recognize the energy they are bringing into the room, conversation or meeting. I recall one leader admitting to me how she had grown accustomed to constantly being in “fire fighting” mode; she believed (limiting belief) it was the sign that she was appropriately busy. Then she wondered why she couldn’t retain her best people and why people were anxious and unwilling or unable to be innovative.
In my experience, some of the most dramatic mistakes are made in performance conversations. Whether they are team, department or individual discussions, the presence of the leader sets the tone and determines whether the participants are inspired to take action & improve performance OR leave feeling blamed & deflated or judged. These conversations carry so much power to move performance forward; they are brilliant opportunities to positively ignite people, generate inspired ideas, build relationships and tighten alignment AND they are very often squandered and too often destructive.
Business is impacted by conversations of all sorts though. Consider the project planning and implementation conversations, sales and customer service conversations, strategy conversations and so many more. As a senior leader you influence all the leaders, managers and supervisors who work with and for you and as a result you impact conversations throughout your organization.
The quality of conversations matter. IMHO, the ability to hold powerful conversations IS a competitive advantage for organizations big or small. Doesn’t it make sense to invest in powerful preparation strategies so all the time spent in conversations is kickass?
In the podcast I separate preparation into two areas of focus:
- The Personal or Internal
- The External or Logistical
I have found they’re very tightly linked and yet the core of the errors I’ve observed appear to start in one and then seep into the other.
Emotional and Mental Preparation
Think about a time when you went to a meeting and you had not set aside the time to review the agenda, make notes on the things you wanted to emphasize or achieve. Added to that what about a time you just pulled yourself away from an intense telephone conversation just in the nick of time to rush in to the conference room. Maybe you were carrying the annoyance from the last conversation along with your lack of focus for the next. What did your presence say or how did it change the energy and expectation of the team waiting for you?
Recently a client told me she was really great at shaking off the last meeting as she ran to the next one and she felt she had developed the resilience to move quickly between meetings and be fully present for each group. As we explore some of the cultural issues she was combating, it became clear she, in fact, had missed some of the early indicators largely because meetings and conversations had become predominantly tactical and transactional. Now, as she traced the root of her current problems, she recognized that had she been fully present, engaged and relationship-focused, she may have avoided many of the problems her organization is now battling.
Meetings like all other conversations are powerful opportunities to connect, to identify and solve problems, build understanding and inspire change. So often we complain about having to attend them because leaders have failed to make them a competitive advantage. How do people feel when they are invited to a meeting with you? AND how are they feeling afterward?
Physical and Logistical Preparation
You can see above how difficult it is to separate the mental and emotional preparation from the logistical. Scheduling is a key issue to ensuring our conversations are positively powerful and yet if you simply buy yourself the time and DON’T use it wisely you won’t be mentally or emotionally prepared.
In addition to scheduling, you may benefit from considering the space where the conversation will take place. How is the space set up and where will you place yourself in the mix? If it is a conversation where engagement and free & open exchange within a group is desired, it may be different than one where the leader is seeking input from a team of subject matter experts. So consider the purpose and desired flow of the meeting as you decide on the physical space and your placement.
I recall an especially effective leader I coached who made a decision one day to leave the head of the conference table to sit on the side in the centre. In one of our conversations she told me she was exasperated because her team was looking to her for all the answers. She had wanted them to pull their weight and offer input and share ideas so she and they could make better decisions. She decided to at least try this as a shake up with no intention to keep it that way but it was so effective in changing the dynamic of her meetings she continues to use this practice in every single meeting.
While it may feel great to sit behind your desk because it is the position of power, if you are wanting conversations with people who come to meet with you to be an exchange of ideas or an opportunity to find common ground or solve a performance issue you must get up from behind that desk and eliminate the physical barrier to collaboration as a starting point.
It isn’t that difficult AND you need to be prepared to be fully present and fully focused on the desired outcome that will serve all parties. Yes it requires focus and dedication to developing your leadership skills AND it is preferable to the drama and work required to clean up the messes we make when we don’t.
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Next Week we’ll examine the power of the Acknowledgment. How to make it authentic and meaningful so it builds trust and connection. Beware to deliver with Care!
Have kickass conversations this week—choose the most difficult one and do some preparation to see how you may make an impact in a new way. Consider how you want to BE in the conversation and how to remain totally in the moment, curious and engaged to create more trust and connection.
Share your experiences here for others to also learn what they may do to make a difference in their conversations. You can make your life and the lives of others better one conversation at a time.