To be willful and determined is more than a label but labels limit. How is your fierceness labelled? Furthermore, how can we embrace willful determination and a willingness for change regardless of the limits or judgments?
In this week’s podcast episode dropped Monday, I reveal myself as a willful child. Not much has changed I suppose! Given the quote I included in the image above, you can see how I think it can be healthy. Additionally, I argue there is benefit in connecting willful determination and an willingness for change.
For the newsletter I reflect on my maternal grandmother and the example in willful determination she was for me. She set an example that connects me deeply to the winter wonderland of Saskatchewan. Moreover, the ability to be willful is a survival skill much of the time.
In the Wednesday video post on Instagram (abbreviated version)and LinkedIn, I extol the virtues of encouraging willfulness. Challenge the status quo is a healthy skill to learn. Questioning what we see or hear is healthy. Ultimately a determined approach to go further and know more is a useful, if sometimes annoying trait.
Finally, in this post, I bring together the the power of willful and a willingness to change. The more I’ve reflected on it this week the more it is resonating.
How Willfulness is a Precursor to Openness
Being open to new experiences sounds lovely, in theory. It is adventurous. It requires courage. Moreover, being open can be exhausting too. Willfulness encouraged, builds the foundation for openness. Moreover, the ability to be willful supports the capacity to think critically. It is essential to be effective. In other words, those who are simply willful without regard for the foundation or considered arguments will be readily discredited.
On the other hand, meaningful and ever growing openness is swallowed up by the status quo or common-place thinking when willfulness is discouraged. Ultimately innovation of all kinds is diminished.
Developing, encouraging or even nurturing willfulness embeds openness. It’s this openness that moves economies, ideas and progress. Many people are open, to a point. Furthermore, amazing things are possible when these same people are also determined to the point of willfulness.
Given Change is a Given, Make it Fit
Change is a given. We all know this. It is evident in our daily experience. The speed of change has only increased. Furthermore, the complexity around every change has only expanded. How do we impose our needs on the changing world around us?
Robert Graves may have lived as part of my maternal grandmother’s generation. He saw it then already. His quote, as captured in the image above, speaks to the value in generating a healthy willfulness.
Think about it. We can develop and teach the skills to navigate the maze. Furthermore, these same skills help us forge new ground. They help us innovate and adapt more readily. Openness and willfulness are powerful together.
Additionally, my clients often talk about how they don’t fit in today’s workplace. They run from the more traditional corporate environment. Openness and willfulness may be the combination needed to build the fit.
How Willfulness Facilitates Change
Change is difficult. I volunteer with new immigrants to Canada. I am paired with senior leaders. These people decided to let go of success in their home country for an opportunity in a democratic land. Ultimately they chose values. They often tell me that they chose their values and what matters to them over economic ease. Additionally they point out that this ease came at the cost of being deferential to an authoritarian system.
I connect what I see in these courageous immigrants with my grandparents who escaped communism. Big change requires a willful determination for something different. It is this pioneering spirit that moves people and societies forward. Moreover, it is the foundation of big dreams. Finally, it may be the source of meaning and the driver of deep satisfaction.
A final word before the credits…
Being willful is not an easy life. I’ve learned self compassion is a restorative practice. Perhaps it is related to being a woman but I suspect my willfulness was more jarring and misunderstood. This is an additional hurdle for women but one worth jumping.
Have you heard about the #FeMasCon? It’s a conference examining performance and excellence with a healthy twist! We are exploring how by accessing the full continuum of human attributes, boxed as the feminine and masculine, we can all live a more productive, constructive and satisfying life. Join us in Toronto on November 10th.
Resilience out of Willfulness – connected in the BYI System
My early willfulness generated my resilience. It likely fueled my disagreeable nature too. Moreover I’ve recognized the powerful impact when combining willfulness with curiosity, when manifested in openness.
A healthy meaningful and full life is made possible with clarity about our values, beliefs, patterns and habits. Additionally, our quality of life is influenced and shaped by our unique blend of strengths and inclinations. Furthermore, a growth mindset and open-minded approach are foundations to sustaining this healthy sense of self.
The System
The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.
The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021).
My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.
Holding space to support my clients in:
- Developing meaningful insights
- Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
- Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
- Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights
An organic experience
The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.
Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be
In April 2018, I was struck by, what felt like, a call of purpose; an insight of sorts. It inspired me to shift the focus of my practice. I’m now walking with 30 somethings. People who are at a pivotal spot in life and career. Whether THERE by age or spirit, I want to walk with people at this place in their life. This is a time in life when we are natural SEEKERS. We’re ready to do some self exploration & find the real meaning of our life? It is also a time when we are more likely to get stuck and make poor choices.
The research suggests people embrace their inner REBEL during their 20’s (the most rebellious after the toddler days in fact). If you are passive in your 20’s you will want to get curious about that too! Most of us slip quietly and comfortably though into ACCOMMODATOR in our 30’s. This documented pattern grabbed my attention and my mission was made clear. Moreover, I’m intent on resurfacing, or igniting, that inner rebel, whose perspective, now shaped with more experience, may offer insights many typically miss when insight and awareness matter most.
In June 2018 I took a course in story telling. I was intent on finding my “Big Why” to help me understand my purpose for shifting my practice. Ultimately, I landed on my story. It spans from my childhood, with a pivotal point in my early 20’s finally culminating in a significant career turning-point at the age of 37. This story revealed an unhealthy pattern while illuminating my new purpose. In fact, I feel motivated when remembering the moment of insight because this transition is difficult. Ultimately though, it adds meaning to my work. Listen below…
Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?
If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.
Willing to do the work to find more meaning?
With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me…
My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below find THREE ways to get started, without spending a dime.
Walk with Me!
- REGISTERfor an ASK ROX RoundTable… TWO LIVE 50 minute engagements available at your desk or phone – the second Tuesday and the last Friday of every month – limited to 12 participants in each and FREE in 2019.
- BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
- SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list from my home page, receive an interactive exercise helping you cope with stress, and a weekly reflection.
In closing, I’d love to bring my work to your team or workplace, so:
- Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits!8