Getting good at something, being consistently great at it or releasing the need to continue striving toward it. That is essentially what the theme is about this week.

Each of these three are truly life affirming choices.

We must all commit to doing the work of determining where we need to be on this spectrum at any given time in our life and in our career.

The 2020 theme of identity continues. To make the best choice out of the three noted in this week’s theme, we must know our strengths and how to adapt and leverage them in every situation. Our identity is defined and reflected, at least in part, by our strengths.

In the Kickass Koach podcast episode dropped May 18th, I introduce the theme and define each of the three choices for reflection.

For the newsletter, I focus on the struggle of accepting that giving up is a viable option. I take time to share a story of how I learned this lesson personally.

In the weekly Instagram and LinkedIn video, I link this week’s theme with last week’s realizing that the obstacles may show us when to give up too. Being a persistent, some would call stubborn person, it is hard for me to let go of a goal but learning to do just that has been liberating.

Finally, in this post I reflect on the importance of considering all three options periodically. While I focus more on the third in the newsletter, I spend more time below on the first two.

Being Great after Getting Good instead of Giving Up

It may take a lot of energy to get good at something. It takes a different kind of energy and commitment to be great. This is only one of the three choices we have. Good, great, give doesn’t describe the order of things, but rather three buckets. Buckets into which we can organize our choices. Buckets to use when entering into our goal setting practice.

I prefer to start with our quest for greatness because it is the easiest and more hopeful and inspiring choice to make. What are we doing now, that with more energy could be GREAT? It isn’t something that just happens over time. We can do the same thing repeatedly and still not get great at it, regardless of what Malcolm Gladwell says about 10,000 hours.

I have done lots of things for 10,000 hours and I am still not always great at it. Greatness requires consistency. My point here, is that it isn’t simply about the time spent, it is about the way the time is spent. If we refuse to accept simply being good at something, but want to raise the bar to greatness – this requires something more.

Greatness requires intentional practice and experimentation. It requires iteration even. Earlier I indicated it is easy. Notice I say easier decision, not accomplishment. Deciding where we want to be great is simply determined by what we love doing. What energizes us.

As the old joke goes, in my family home anyway! How do you get to Carnegie Hall? NOT practice practice practice but rather intentional and progressive practice. As a coach I see this all the time with clients who want to get great at something but choose something that makes money rather than basing greatness on something that generates passion and energy within.

Getting Good so We can Be Great when Giving Up not an Option

Being great always starts with getting good at something. That’s how we learn what sparks our passion. While becoming great is hard work, building the skill first and finding out if it generates passion and fuels persistence is much harder.

This is the in-between point of the three options. It is, while getting good, that we learn whether giving up or being great is the best option. However, we must be extremely observant and intentional to make the next decision. What we choose to invest further in determines our future.

First, we must thoughtfully examine at what we want to be good, before doing the work. Perhaps, considering what is motivating the decision. Additionally, it is advisable to reflect on what good looks like and what great would require. When I was young, I wanted to be a Broadway star. I performed on the stage many times and I had passion for it. Only when I considered what good looked like and what great, which was the only option for me, would require, did I decided to be an amateur. I enjoyed it through University and then, for all intents and purposes, I gave it up. An intentional decision because I enjoyed many interests that filled the underlying passion but offered me more. I was reasonably good, and I had a lot of fun. It helped me build stage presence and confidence, so it was time well spent.

Second, it is helpful to see this period as the heart of an experiment. It is in getting good at things that we learn so much about our self. We learn about our capacities and interests and while they may morph into something different in time, it is by expending the effort that we grow and learn.

When Giving up WE may Be Getting Good or Being Great

I’ve explored this at length in my newsletter and I shared a meaningful story from early in my life that really helped me see the value of knowing when to give up.

Timing is everything. I spoke with a friend this morning about a couple she often mentions who are struggling being back in Canada. They’re typically globe trotters. Today I responded that it may be time they give that up. Perhaps by doing the work to give it up, even for the foreseeable future, they’ll be able to see beauty and gift of living in Canada. She mentioned they complain about the taxation. No sympathy from me on that. Canada is their safe haven but they choose to live in another jurisdiction rather than contributing to the country where that is possible. Regardless of the politics involved, giving up the desire to be elsewhere appears to be a healthier approach.

When we cultivate the capacity to give up a notion, need or goal, we actually free our consciousness, energy and creativity to find space to exercise itself. This is how new ideas and insights form. When we hold on to the end it restricts us. When we see completion as the ultimate goal we limit our self. Letting go is the way we make space for something new – perhaps something better.

Life is one big Experiment

Once again the theme emphasizes the benefit of approaching life as an experiment. When we are open to choosing whether getting good, being good or letting go is the first option, we approach every venture as an experiment aiding us in making the chose as quickly as possible. Furthermore, it is a way of categorizing, streamlining and focusing our energy and creativity appropriately to accomplish that which matters most. Moreover, we may be ultimately energized by seeing our choices in each of the three impact our life overall. For certain, we’ll be better able and equipped to choose and navigate our path as a result.

We may be capable of more closely monitoring and learning from our choices and decisions and build capacity to adjust our actions to meet the current situation. Then, we may influence how things unfold. There’s a difference between wanting something and making something happen. With the mindset necessary to perform under pressure we are able to influence results more deeply. This mindset that relies on clarity, curiosity and a resilient spirit we accept no excuses, only results. Furthermore, it’s essential we have a system to evaluate the risk of any action, removing the very human emotions that cloud our judgment. Walk with me. Together let’s examine options consciously and authentically to make choices that move us strategically toward where we want to be. Strategy is a about choices. Execution on these choices requires masterful performance. Furthermore, a well developed process allows us to enjoy the journey far more fully.

Be part of the journey in 2020.

Start by subscribing to my mailing list . Subscribers receive:

My interactive exercise to begin reducing the impacts of stress and feelings of overwhelm will be sent.
My newsletter with the related podcast episode will be sent weekly.
Special offers will be available to subscribers monthly including: a random offer of a complimentary one hour coaching conversation, access to roundtable engagements and group coaching on identity and related subjects, as well as information on an initiative on which I’m collaborating: #FeMasCon.

Giving, Good and Great, Banks Your Impact (BYI)

The capacity to face and make the most of every obstacle is essential to banking our impact. A career built on the skill of navigating and responding to obstacles as they arise is generative and progressive. It is easy to lead or contribute when processes are running smoothly.

The BYI system helps participants build the strength to engage when challenges appear. It’s an approach focused on identifying options, making wise choices and committing to influencing desired outcomes. Furthermore, it takes a systematic and experiential approach to influence the outcomes we produce. Moreover, becoming aware of who we are being and how it produces the results in our life is a consequence of the choices we made and how we execute on those choices. Ultimately, creating the life we want starts with the actions we choose to take.

To get what we truly want in life, we need to be willing to persist, seek help, and continually look for transferable learning opportunities. Additionally, we need to be willing to question our choices and expand our options through healthy curiosity and a search for unique perspectives. Moreover, identifying and nurturing our identity is the place to start. A healthy meaningful and full life is made possible with clarity about our values, beliefs, patterns and habits. Additionally, our quality of life is influenced and shaped by our unique blend of strengths and inclinations. Undoubtedly, a growth mindset and open-minded approach are foundations to sustaining this healthy sense of self.

The System

The Bank Your Impact (BYI) System is about both developing and embedding self-awareness. Furthermore, the benefits of expanded resilience, connections built on understanding the impact of belonging and an ability to bolster a professional and authentic presence are foundational. Perhaps more than the other two, developing a foundational resilience is critical to with standing that which moves us into burnout.

The current system incorporates 1:1 coaching, roundtable conversations; eventually I’ll add a neuro-social learning experience (currently only available in organizational contracts but will be added to the system for individual engagement in 2021). My approach is based on the ICF (International Coaching Federation) standards. I’m meeting you (my clients) where you are, both as the coaching agreement begins, and in the moment that exists at the time of each conversation. Progress or growth is not a straight line. The ICA model is the framework for every conversation: Issue/Insight, Choice/Commitment, Action/Accountability. Over the past year I’ve been tightening the model to meet the needs of my clients.

Holding space to support my clients in:

Developing meaningful insights
Expanding/deepening perspective on those insights
Building/designing a practice to try on new ways of being/seeing OR experiment for discovery
Assessing progress, becoming agile in transfer of learning and application before developing additional insights

An organic experience

The experience is tailored around what you bring to each conversation, in my experience, there are common themes that arise including: self-awareness, mindfulness, mindset, communication, connections, and attitude. Self-awareness stands alone but is also a foundational theme. I have registered upwards of 40 sub-concepts that fit under each of these categories. Furthermore, I bring tools, skills and techniques to respond and guide our work together, informed by positive psychology, neuroscience, and management/leadership research.

Walk With Me, to Where You Want to Be

In all my blog posts in 2019, you will find this section outlines what brought me to this area of focus: supporting people in the early to middle part of their career as a #performance #coach.

You can read more about my work and my in the About Me section of the website and below is a recording of my #bigwhystory:

Feel like you’re living someone else’s destiny?

If that’s working for you, great. If it isn’t or it starts to be a problem, reach out. I welcome a conversation.

Willing to do the work to find more meaning?

With the skills to unpack the emotions and barriers and triggers and mindset challenges with the skills in my BYI system, participants begin to see the impact in their career and finally begin to discover what matters most to them. The bonus: they begin to see a path to get there. Join me… My system is intended to be meaningful, relevant, accessible and affordable. With that in mind, there are many ways to engage with me. Below are TWO ways to start, without spending a dime.

Walk with Me!

BOOK a complimentary exploratory 1:1 conversation 20-30 minutes.
SUBSCRIBE to my mailing list. You’ll receive an interactive exercise that you may use to reduce and manage stress or feelings of overwhelm. PLUS each week you’ll receive my podcast and reflections in your inbox AND you’ll be invited to monthly webinars and roundtable conversations.

In closing, I love bringing learning experiences to workplaces that are interested in raising their performance and encouraging their people.

Book me to speak at your conference or to a group in your organization. My workshops on building resilience, improving workplace outcomes through relationships, and increasing performance are big hits! In 2020 I’ve added a few workshops on gender engagement – how, by knocking off the boxes that limit us by gender we all find our capacity expands.

Be Great, Get Good, Give Up