Is it possible to be too accommodating–making everyone feel good at the expense of getting anything real accomplished?  You know the person who is chameleon-like, shifting with the wind.

Then there is the leader who rigidly follows every rule almost blind to the impact on people and unable to see the grey areas not covered by or appreciated by the rules.

We want our leaders to be able to listen and adjust to the needs of people AND we want them to be trustworthy and dependable so where is the balance between these two character strengths?  Have you found it?

How do you value both of these strengths while remaining mindful that each, when over or under played will reduce your positive influence?  And leadership is the exercise of influence.

In Episode 28 (PODCAST and BLOGPOST)we opened the series with a framing story during which you are introduced to  4 characters each representing a different pattern or “way of being” a leader.  I will be referring to the story and characters–Marley, Alan, Pete & Cynthia–each week of this series while exploring 2 different traits per week.  Listen to the Podcast for the story.  The Blogpost expands on the story and includes an assignment to help you get more out of the series.

ImpactBank’s Kickass Koach Podcast Episode 29 is  part 2 of this 7 part series.  Today we start digging into 12 character traits that are foundational for the leader who wants to master the art and practice of leadership.

By fully participating in the reflections during the episodes and in the intervening weeks, you will dig deeper learning more about yourself.  When you are open to learning as a leader there is a good chance you will shift the way you see yourself and BIG opportunities are revealed.

In every episode and post I make a point of reminding you that you are not only one style–you are not defined by the character traits that are revealed.  Why do I do this?  Well because newly promoted leaders often find themselves vulnerable to all the feedback you hear.  You can limit yourself and fall prey to self judgement and then turn around and project it onto others. Once you do that a clear appreciation for what you are learning is diminished AND your openness to the tremendous growth ahead of you is dampened.

You see IT IS NOT about labeling or limiting yourself. It is about becoming your best self. To be the kick-ass leader you have the potential to be. Someone recognized your potential and promoted you. Now it is up to you to stretch yourself by digging deeper inside to realize your potential.

Okay now into our two traits for this week.

We are starting with Diplomacy.

We’ll define it by what you will observe in yourself and others. A leader exhibiting strength in diplomacy is approachable and easy going, even humorous. Others will experience you as genuinely warm and openly grateful for the contributions of others. Sometimes it is exemplified how giving you are–listening endlessly or jumping in to help when employees are overwhelmed or struggling.

In the story from Episode 28, the character who leaned into this strength most is Marley. She was:

1. attuned to how people were feeling about the anticipated changes and what they wanted,
2. a safe place for employees to bring their fears–they felt respected and cared about, and
3. generous with her time and understanding.

Before digging deeper let’s explore the second trait Integrity.

Again we’ll define it by the experience we have with people who are leaning into this strength.  With integrity a leader will exhibit a straightforward approach with an emphasis on achieving the stated goals because it means keeping your word and being honourable.  Others will experience you as someone who cares deeply about being ethical and even fair.  AN ASIDE:  You’ll recall from Episode 25 we discussed our brain’s reaction to the perception of fairness. When you reflect on what we learned about fairness you may consider how fraught this territory and how it has the potential to create issues for a leader who isn’t aware of its impact.

In the story from Episode 28, the character who leaned into this strength most is Alan. He was:

1. task oriented and instrumental in keeping us on track;
2. committed to honoring our commitments,ensuring we didn’t miss any of the important details
3. driven by not wanting to disappoint by “dropping the ball” on his responsibilities.

How are you like Marley?  AND how are you like Alan?  It is not about choosing between them it is about balancing them. Do you see more of one of these responses depending on the circumstances? These are both admirable traits that reflect CORE STRENGTHS required of a leader.  It not about judging yourself but rather about recognizing the choices you have as a leader and knowing the impact your choice makes on whether you a positive influence.

In this week’s podcast I invite you to consider whether you are over or under-using these traits?  Do you wonder what that may look like and how your peers or direct reports will experience you if you do well let’s explore.

When Alan was over or under using his integrity I would observed him:

1. patronizing his peers–and these were people he needed to work with to accomplish his goals,
2. taking a heavy handed approach and then come vent to me about their lack of commitment,
3. keeping knowledge, insights & observation to himself, and
4. undermining the efforts of his peers.

When Marley was over or under using her diplomacy I would observe her:

1. building alliances using extreme flattery as a way to intimidate or control things,
2. using her humour to cut people down to size with a smile on her face,
3. being haughty and dismissive even accusing me of appreciating the perspective of others more, and
4. informing her peers they would be sorry for not listening to her.

When Marley and Alan were over or under using these strengths they were struggling to find balance.

Have you been this kind of leader?  How do you think I handled it?  I share a bit about it in the podcast

Self awareness is critical to mastering leadership.  When you are willing to do your own work to improve your thinking, mindset, performance, way of seeing and being in relationship to others, you will be ready to make a difference and to be a leader of influence.

NEXT WEEK– We’ll discuss the traits of Creativity and Perspective to see what strengths are part of each.  Think about this: is it possible to be so creative you lose perspective? Don’t miss it….bookmark this link and you won’t miss a new episode or subscribe on iTunes.  There’s a link to iTunes at impactbank.ca or look it up yourself on iTunes under ImpactBank: the Kickass Koach.